Bad Luck or Fate?

Chapter 63

I awoke to the sound of Jimmy's voice in the background followed by laughter. I opened my eyes and looked down. I was laying on something blue and soft. I yawned and stretched and felt it move beneath me. I took my hands and searched the material. I heard Jimmy laugh under the movement of my fingertips. I lifted my head and wiped the drool from my face, looking down at the small puddle left over on Jimmy's shorts. I had been sleeping on Jimmy's legs apparently. "Well, hello there, sleeping beauty."  Jimmy whispered as I sat up and stretched. Jimmy had been watching the show from last night. I could see the hospital bracelet on his arm still. I smiled at a lapel tap that I spied before looking back at Jimmy leaning against the headboard with Thomas on his bare chest.

"You're watching your own show? You know Thomas can't see the shapes and stuff yet right? Its just a blur to him so you can't use that as an excuse. You just wanted to see how you did for History of Rap, didn't you?" Jimmy started laughing quietly but his chest moving up and down was starting to stir Thomas so he quickly stopped and smiled instead. "I'll have you know that he can hear my voice and it soothes him." He said softly as he kissed the top of Thomas's head. "He smells so good." He said as he took a deep breath in. I leaned down and rubbed the top of Thomas's head with my index and middle finger before kissing his head myself. "He does smell good, but, you do know that you could just talk to him right? You don't have to play the show." Jimmy smiled at me again and sighed. "Fine. I wanted to see how it looked last night, okay? I don't want to look like an idiot." I raised my eyebrow and went to speak and he put his finger to my lips. "Shut up. I know what you are going to say. You know I meant a bigger idiot than usual. Just, let me do this, please?" He asked, pouting his lips and batting his beautiful brown eyes.

I scoffed and laid my head back on his thighs. "Not fair. You know I can't resist that face." I felt him rock with a soft laughter as he took his hand and stroked my scalp lightly, playing with my hair. I loved having my hair played with. He massaged my scalp lightly with his finger tips. I could hear him rapping along with History of Rap quietly. The last song I remember was "No Diggity". Between the soft rumble of Jimmy's bass in his voice to the sound of Thomas lightly snoring, I drifted off to sleep again. 

***

When I woke up again, I went to squeeze Jimmy's legs but instead gathered empty sheets in my hands. I sat up and listened. I didn't hear Jimmy walking or talking anywhere. There was no television on, just complete silence. Oh no, he did what I told him to, he left. I thought to myself. Suddenly, I felt my breath catch in my chest as I felt my chest tighten. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. My mind was foggy. I was having a panic attack. I hadn't had one of these in almost two years. I used to have them all the time before I met Jimmy. I didn't even realize I hadn't had one since being with him until now. I started taking deep breaths in and out, pulling my knees to my chest and rocking in the bed until the feeling subsided. 

I looked around and found a Thank You note on the nightstand next to the alarm clock on my side. It was the same kind he used on the show. I raised my eyebrow as I picked it up from the nightstand. I opened it and read to myself. There was Jimmy's chicken scratch written above the typed out Thank You Note. He had awful handwriting but by now, I was used to deciphering it.

B- Calm down. I didn't leave, don't worry. You're still my one and only. The only list I'm working on right now is the groceries.To be honest I really just wanted to let you sleep for a while. You looked so peaceful sleeping, I figured you needed your rest. I'm sorry for last night. There was a more eloquent way for me to tell you you're my one and only, I shouldn't have went about it that way. I'm incredibly sorry. I want to make it up to you if you'll let me. I have a whole day set aside for just the two of us to enjoy each other's presence and to reconnect. I know- don't worry. Justin, Matt and Drew have already volunteered to watch our perfect little man. Whenever you wake up and get around come on out. I'll be waiting for you. -J