Belong To Me (Bechloe)

twenty five.

Beca's POV

I collect my luggage from the conveyor belt when I arrive in Louisiana before walking out to the airport foyer, then out to the expanse of pavement stretching out in front of the building.

Beca | 7.33 A.M.
Here.

The warm early morning air embraces me as I wait for Aubrey's reply, filling me with some optimism, despite the fact I know the jetlag will probably hit me unbearably quickly.

Aubrey | 7.34 A.M.
Just coming!

Aubrey emerges from a khaki-coloured Jeep parked off to the left, smiling as she walks towards me.
"I would hug you, but I feel there's only really one person you let do that and she's not me. I'm glad to see you though, Beca."
Aubrey smiles more widely before reaching forward to take my bag. I smile back weakly, curtly nodding my head a little.
"That one person hates me though," I point out as I follow Aubrey over to the Jeep. She turns around and gives me a long stare.
"We both know that's not true. Chloe's obviously been in love with you since the moment you first met." She turns back around, unlocking the vehicle.
"But I ruined that, Aubrey." I get in and sit back in the passenger seat, taking a deep breath. "Because it took me way too long to realise."
"Realise...?"

I take another deep breath, closing my eyes.

"That there's a reason I never feel attracted to dudes, as anything more than a friend," I mutter. "That there's a reason I thought love was just a thing where both people pretended to be happy. That only having sex with Jesse once in the 5 years we were together isn't normal. I just didn't want any of it. He was just filling in for something I've always been missing. But he never fit it in the right way." I stop, brushing a tear away with the back of my hand. "Sorry, this is stupid, I need to get my shit together." I chuckle tearily.
"No, this is good, you need to let the real you flow out of you."
"Okay..." I respond doubtfully. "Well, I think the reason I don't feel interested in guys is that I think I... like girls. I guess I just never really knew what love felt like. And, well, I think I like... Chloe," I say, whispering the last word before falling silent. Aubrey glances over at me as she drives towards the retreat.
"You know that's okay, right?" she says softly.
"But it's not." I glance out of the window. "I'm never going to be able to tell her. She's never going to believe me anyway. Why would she?"
"Beca, stop," Aubrey says, pausing for a few moments as we arrive, pulling up to a parking space in the retreat. "There's no way she won't forgive you. Just... give her space for a while," she adds, stepping out of the truck.
"Annoyingly, that's easy." I sigh as I follow her to the entrance lodge. "I don't think I even know where she is right now."

Aubrey picks up a clipboard from the front desk before turning to me.

"Life has a way of resolving issues. My dad always said 'age wrinkles the body, but quitting wrinkles the soul'. Don't give up on everything just yet."
"Aubrey, this is the same guy who said 'if at first you don't succeed, pack your bags'. It's kind of a contradiction-"
"Beca, we are at the Lodge At Fallen Leaves. Only productive, positive thoughts are permitted," she replies, glancing at the man behind the desk.

I raise my eyebrows at her sudden change of speech, but decide not to say anything. I watch as Aubrey runs her eyes over the grid attached to the clipboard for a few moments before looking up at me. She clears her throat, gesturing for me to lead us out of the lodge again, so I head towards the lake.

"Um, so... if we're doing confessions," Aubrey says quietly, "Then I have to admit something to you."
"What?" I ask somewhat hastily - I hate surprises.
"I said I had a free calendar... well, I don't. I just kind of needed you to be here."

Is this to do with the 'issue' Chloe mentioned?

"To...?"
"Just to talk," Aubrey briskly clarifies. "I thought maybe perhaps you could join in with the group I have scheduled? Someone's bringing them in now, but I don't know, maybe you wanted to relive old memories?"

I consider her preposition. I still don't quite understand why I'm here, but now I am, I may as well join in with the activities. You never know, it could even take my mind off Chloe.

I bet she isn't even thinking about me.

"Sure, I guess. Can I put my bags somewhere?"
"Yes, just follow me." Aubrey leads me over to a collection of large wooden huts, before unlocking one and letting me inside. "I'll meet you in the clearing beside the rope activities in about 5 minutes?"
"Yeah sure, dude, I'll be right there."

-

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