Belong To Me (Bechloe)

nineteen.

Chloe's POV

"I think the bitch title was taken by Aubrey years ago. You haven't got anything to worry about really," I comment, throwing the pyjama t shirt over my head.

Beca laughs before looking down and intertwining our fingers again.

"I guess that's true," she replies, looking back up at me slowly. Her face glows perfectly in the dim lamp light and I can't seem to take my eyes off her. But at the same time, she isn't looking away either - so I don't feel too guilty about staring into her eyes.

In that moment, my inhibitions leave me once again and I lean a lot closer to her. I'm going to do what Aubrey said and be more obvious about my feelings.

I'm in love with Beca Mitchell. And I need her to know.

I rest my free hand on her thigh and lean over to her just enough so that our lips touch. I kiss her gently at first, trying to gauge her reaction. I find myself smiling at the soft, gentle nature of her mouth, in slight disbelief that I'm actually kissing her. I've been waiting for this moment for 7 years.

As quickly as it starts, it stops again as Beca pulls her mouth away, shaking her head.

"Dude, what the fuck?!" she yells suddenly, pushing me away from her forcefully as she stands up.
"I, uh, I thought-" I burst into tears. Shit. This isn't the moment I thought it was. As usual, I'm an idiot and now I've just ruined everything.

But I thought she felt it too. The looks she'd been giving me... I thought I stood a chance.

"Why would you do that?!" she shouts again, her eyes flashing with an undefinable emotion.
"I thought you were feeling it too!" I say, standing up to face her properly, despite the fact the room is spinning.
"What? I-"
"Just leave, please! I can't do this," I shout back, shaking my head. We can't be together right now.

We can't be together ever, more like.

"Just go! It's obviously not how I thought it was so please just get out of my house!"
"Chlo-"

I shake my head again, tears rolling down my cheeks as I gesture for her to leave. By now, Beca's in tears too, but she just seems so angry.

This has all gone so wrong.

"You kiss me and then tell me I've done something bad? Dude, that's fucked up," she shouts, heading for the door.
"Don't pretend you didn't act as if you were disgusted by me," I reply, my voice breaking. She looks at me one last time before leaving the room. Moments later, I hear the front door slam.

She's gone.

I crumple on my bed and burst into tears all over again. I was stupid to think she'd ever like me like that. She's straight - her reaction just proved that - and she obviously feels repulsed at the thought of me crossing that last boundary.

...which I just did.

Rocking myself back and forth, I let all the tears flow out until I'm raw, until my head throbs and my chest aches, until I hope I'll find some way of easing the pain. But I know it's impossible. I just told the only person I've ever needed to get out of my house - probably even out of my life. And I don't think I'll be able to turn things back to the way they were.

Hours must pass as I lie curled up in a ball on my bed, but I'm not sleepy anymore. Yes, my head hurts like hell, but really that's irrelevant compared to everything else sprinting through my mind relentlessly. What if I'd just told her how I felt? What if I hadn't made her leave? What if I hadn't gone to that stupid bar in the first place? ...What if I'd never gone to that vet school?