Belong To Me (Bechloe)

twenty eight.

Beca's POV

She doesn't talk to me when we get in our tent.

She doesn't talk to me after the light from the campfire in the distance has slowly dimmed and died.

She doesn't talk to me when I try to ask her how she's feeling... which eventually leads to me begging her to talk to me.

She doesn't even talk to me when her back accidentally brushes against mine.

She just lies there, acting as if I don't exist.

Then I figure it's time to give up.

I sigh loudly before focusing my attention on the (unexciting) tent wall in front of me, willing myself to fall asleep.

A few minutes pass and I deduce that Chloe's probably gone to sleep too. She's deadly still either way. But, I have to be honest, it feels better that she's there at all, even if we're not speaking. Despite what I seem to proclaim, I hate being alone sometimes.

I can hear her breathing - in a way, it feels almost too intimate, as if the rhythm of her inhales and exhales is revealing everything she's trying to bury deep down. Maybe tonight - and I guess the past few days - has revealed that I don't know Chloe as well as I thought I did, but I still feel pretty certain that she does want to talk. I mean come on, it's the infamous Chloe Beale: when is she not talking? Her overflowing presence is intoxicating and makes me a little crazy about her. Even if I have only recently realised in what way.

"I'm going for a walk," Chloe suddenly announces, startling me so much I physically jump and roll onto my back. I try to regain my composure and watch her as she sits up. Her eyes instantly lock with mine, clearly instructing me not to follow her - not that she has to say anything.

Evidently it's slipped her mind that I don't follow instructions.

I wait for Chloe to leave the tent, listening to hear what direction she goes in. A few seconds later, I slip out, treading carefully so she doesn't hear me. Seeing the reflection of the Moon on the lake, I head to where the trees are less dense in order to see better. I didn't bring a torch, so moonlight is all I've got. Light rain trickles down from the trees above me, causing goosebumps to appear where the water hits my skin. Mistake number two: I didn't bring a jacket.

I see a dark figure slow down as they reach the water's edge, their shoulders slumping slightly as they sit down. I can tell by their posture that they're clearly Chloe. Besides, no one else is crazy enough to be walking around right now. Two words - bear traps.

As I approach Chloe, I can see that she's sobbing - her body is trembling and her hands seem to be desperately trying to wipe her tears. Why won't she let me comfort her? What the hell can I do to make this better?

I decide it's better just to tackle the situation head on, so stride over to her.

"Chloe, look, I've got to tell you something." If she lets me talk.

She doesn't move to look at me, but at least she doesn't move away.

"I'm... not in the mood," she replies slowly, still wiping her face.
"Chloe, you don't get to use that line. We have to talk. I'm not losing whatever this is."
"Please stop talking like that!" Chloe gets up, her melancholy mood quickly morphing into anger.
"What? What have I done now?"
"You always talk like you like me. Don't you realise how much that hurts?"
"I-"
"Don't start apologising again, that's not the point! You can't make out we have 'something' and then push me away the first time I ever actually make a move, that's not how it fucking works! If you're straight, that's fine, but please stop leading me on. You know I'm sensitive and I fall so hard for people... I fell so hard for you. I gave everything to you and you acted as if it meant nothing! It just feels like nothing's ever gonna work out again." She exhales sharply before moving away, but I gently catch her arm.
"Chlo - let me speak. I'm sorry it took you kissing me and me pushing you away for me to realise just what the hell I was feeling, but now I know. I shouldn't have pushed you away - it was a stupid decision that led to a shitty outcome for the both of us. But what's happened has happened, I can't change the past. Don't just yell at me though, because if I know you as well as I think I do, I think I'm not the only one you're mad at."
"What's that supposed to mean?" she spits back, living up to the reputation of her fiery hair.
"You're mad at yourself too, Chlo. But it's okay." I speak softly, trying to calm her down. "This is where beating yourself up ends, do you hear me? Besides, you weren't even wrong to do what you did." I turn her round slowly as I hold the tip of her elbow. "I, uh..."

God, I'm going to have to just say it.

"I liked it. I like you, Chlo. I was - am - just scared of admitting it."

Chloe's eyes widen in shock, then narrow suddenly as she shakes her head.

"No. You're lying," she says, pulling her arm back.
"Really? You really think I'd say that if I didn't mean it? What's the point of lying to you? Why are you always so adamant on calling me a liar?"
"You're only saying any of this so you don't hurt my feelings any more than you already have. Maybe you care about me, but not like that. Stop implying things, you're just making it worse, Beca."
"Oh my God, I'm not lying!" I shout in exasperation, then sigh. "Chloe, when did you... change?" I mumble, my voice cracking.

Chloe narrows her eyes again.
"I haven't! All I'm saying is I've known you for 7 years, Beca! You wouldn't be scared of admitting your feelings for someone. You told Jesse how you felt eventually, it hardly seemed like a struggle for you to openly kiss him at the ICCAs!"
"That's not even relevant! It's taken me 26 years to figure myself out, you're not allowed to just say you know everything about me. That's not fair and you know it!"
"Then go! If you don't like me for it, just leave!"
"Chloe..." I falter, tearing my eyes away from her. I lose somehow, no matter my decision. I could walk away from her - lying, by saying I don't love her. Or I stay, and say I do - but she gets to proclaim she knows it all, which is complete bullshit. 7 years is hardly 26.

I sigh, stepping forward. I know what I have to say. Maybe my head will hate me for it, but my heart has to take priority - or I'll spend all eternity wondering about what could've been.

"I'm not leaving," I say decisively, continually stepping forward until I reach Chloe. "So you better get used to that," I add, wrapping my arms around her neck as my eyes drift down to her lips.

What better way to prove to her how I feel?

She freezes as I kiss her, her arms still folded defensively across her chest, and for once I'm the one crossing boundaries. But slowly she unfolds her arms, allowing me closer to her. As our bodies collide, I feel a crazy sensation I'd been stupid to ignore before. Being with her seems so right - there's no one else who has ever made me feel like this. And even if it makes me an emotional wreck (which is completely NOT normal, for me), I think I'm willing to handle that in order to have what makes me happy.

She suddenly brings her hands up to the sides of my face, holding me near to her both firmly and lovingly, almost as if she doesn't want to let me go. My heart is beating at an unhealthy speed, but I can't calm myself down. The rush of exhilaration as the kiss deepens makes my heart drop to my toes, and I know instantly that this is the right decision. God, I'm all hers.

Chloe gently brings her lips away from mine and looks up at my eyes almost reluctantly.
"So... you aren't joking?" she checks nervously.
"Of course not," I reassure her, my hand finding hers. "Would that feel so good for the both of us if I was faking it?"
"I guess not." Chloe's smile slowly reappears as she considers my statement. Then it flickers and dies again. "I'm so sorry, Beca. I shouldn't have said all of that. I guess I didn't really consider the possibility that you wouldn't know how you felt. Could we, you know, put the last few hours behind us?"
"Wasn't that what we were already doing?" I tease, gesturing at the lack of space between us. Chloe just hugs me tightly, making me smile.

-

WAHEYYYYYY 🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎊🎉🎉🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉🎊🎉
this chapter was so long lmao, but I think it's my fave so far so yayyy