cotton candy stitches

August 15, 2018

I sorted everything out with Tristan. It sucks that I did that. It's my fault and I don't deserve anything that he gave me. But I put the earrings he got me into my ears and pack up my stuff.

Earlier in the week, I had set him up with Evan as a joke but they actually hit it off. I had no clue Tristan was bi.

According to Evan, they can't keep their hands off of each other. Every picture Evan shows me of them together, Tristan is smiling bright and wide. It makes my heart so happy that they found each other.

I took around 2 weeks off to sort everything out. As much as I wanted to see Zach again, I had to make sure Tristan was okay and that I was ready for anything. Right now, I feel more ready.

I throw my stuff into my car, including some other clothes in case. I drive over to Zach's house, my heart beating heavily against my chest. Everything that passes by seems so scenic, as if I were in a movie. It doesn't help that I have one of my hard-hitting playlists on.

Finally, I arrive at Zach's house. Only his car is in the driveway, which means his sister and parents aren't home. Thank God, I was hoping for some time alone with him.

Nervously, I rap my knuckles against the front door, tapping my foot against the pavement in anticipation.

I had driven here a bit late as the sun was barely still in the sky. Some stars came out to say hello, twinkling brightly against the steadily darkening sky. Finally, Zach opens the door but his face is droopy and his eyes sad.

"What happened?" I question, confused.

"How could you kiss Tristan?" he mutters, barely keeping eye contact with me. Zach's shoulders are sagging and his breathing comes out in short breaths. He looks up into my eyes, his eyes sad but not red.  "Did you have to? I thought you-"

I clamp my hand around his mouth. Zach stares at me incredulously. I slide my hand to his cheek.

"Zach... You're crazy if you think I'd want anyone other than you. You're so... amazing," I murmur, running my hands through his hair. His lips part slightly which causes me to smile just a tiny bit. I lean up towards him and kiss the tip of his nose.

This causes him to laugh softly. His hands wrap around my waist and pull me in. "You're my world," I whisper before softly kissing him. I pull away and just take him in for a second.

I look up at his beautiful eyes. They're soft and vulnerable, so unlike him. He's always the tougher one, confident as hell and cocky too.

Zach seems to scan me up and down, breathing heavily. Slowly, a big smile crosses his face as he tangles his hands into my hair. He opens and closes his mouth as if he's going to say something but doesn't. "Don't ever kiss another guy again. I think I'd die if you did," he whispers, jokingly but deep down, I know he's being serious.

I laugh and lean up towards him, letting his breath fan across my face. "I know. I'm sorry. It was my fault," I tell him. Zach holds my face, thumbing my cheek softly.

"I think I'm in love with you," I murmur, blushing slightly. I've never told anyone that before. I feel like it's different from saying "I love you." Saying you've fallen in love is like holding your heart out for the world to see it and letting it decide what happens to it.

Zach smiles and strokes my cheek. "I know." I slap his chest playfully. He rolls his eyes before he says, "I am too."

He bends down and gives me one of the best kisses ever. It starts out slow and soft but steadily gets more and more passionate. The best part is that he holds me as if he'd never let me go.

Zach hooks his hands on my thighs and lifts me into his arms. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck as he brings me into the house and shuts the door behind us.

His lips feel so soft against mine, his hands are so gentle yet rough, his everything feels amazing against me. I love feeling the way Zach kisses me, the way his eyes nervously go to the ground, the way he moves his hair out of his eyes. I love him.

He pulls away from me suddenly, panting heavily. "Baby, princess, love, I need to know if you're willing to do this," Zach says to me. I turn my head in confusion.

"I need to know if you'll stay loyal to me," he states, holding me tight against him. He sits me down on his kitchen counter, staring intently into my eyes.

"I promise I will. My heart is yours and yours alone. You have all of me," I tell him. I mean every single word. He gives me a big smile.

"You have mine too." Before I know it, his lips are on mine again. He squeezes my butt which causes me to moan. He growls against lips, causing my stomach to twist. I pull my legs further into his hips as he lifts me up and off the counter.

Zach pushes us into his bedroom before throwing me into his bed. This causes me to laugh as he places his lips back onto mine. I wrap my legs around his waist, conveniently pulling our crotches together. This causes him to freeze for a second. Slowly, he pulls away, out of breath.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I don't want you doing something you don't want to do," Zach asks sweetly, a concerned look on his face. My heart practically melts.

"All I want is you," I murmur before dragging his head back down. I connect our lips.

"Just please take it slow, it's my first time," I say as my cheeks flush from embarrassment. Zach leans into me and smiles softly. "I'll do anything to make sure this is the perfect first time for you." I smile widely, watching his eyes. His eyes show me the real him. It connects with how he is right now.

"I love you so much," I whisper, meaning every single word.

He chuckles lightly and goes to kiss me again. But before our mouths meet, he whispers,

"I love you too."