cotton candy stitches

July 22, 2018

I cuddle into the pillows, letting the smell of cookies engulf me. It's nice to smell but I still feel like shit thinking about Tristan. I feel so disgusting but I try to push it away. It's a family type day. Mason, Jesse, and Ian watch the TV with their full attention on it. I swear, my brothers pay more attention to the movie than they do to me on a daily basis.

"Cookies almost done?" Jesse, the oldest of all of us, asks.

"10 more minutes," I reply.

Suddenly, a loud bang comes from the front door. It's rapid and aggressive. Shit. I already know who it is.

Everyone turns their attention on it. "I'll get it," Jesse offers, already getting up from the couch.

"No, no. Can you guys just make sure the cookies don't burn?" Everyone gives me a nod as I go get up to answer the door. Even though I told him not to, Jesse follows me close behind.

Nervously, I open the door.

Tristan stands there, infuriated. His eyes are red and his fists are clenched.

"How could you?" Tristan growls.

I try to act confused but I already know what he's talking about. "What do you mean?" I ask as I back up into Jesse's chest.

"Hang out with Zach! Kiss Zach! Sleep over at Zach's! If I'm right that's not what a girlfriend does with a guy that isn't her boyfriend." He angrily glares me down. My heart immediately tightens and my eyes start to prick. Tristan slightly calms down but remains furious.

"I'm sorry..." I whisper. "I'm so fucking sorry, Tristan. I..."

The urge to cry tears at the back of my throat. I stiffen and stare at my feet. Stray tears start leaking out of my eyes, falling down onto the ground. I shouldn't even be the one crying.

Wait.

"How do you know about that?" I mutter, trying my hardest not to look up at him. Because if I look into his eyes, I will do nothing but completely start sobbing.

"You don't think I have friends? They show me this shit and I can't help but be pissed. I mean can you blame me?!" Tristan angrily shouts. Jesse pulls me against him.

I'm glad he's not saying anything. It's not his business but it makes this slightly easier.

I finally muster up the courage to look at Tristan. His face is flushed red and there's so many tears streaming down his face.

I shakily reach my hand out. Tristan looks at it confusedly but takes it anyway. I walk outside with him, trying to steady my breathing.

"What? Are you gonna show me where you and Zach did it?" I can't help but laugh. I shake my head.

I lead him onto a bench on the side of the house. We both sit down as I hold his hand.

With tears still spilling from my eyes, I look at him and just take him in. His eyes are red and he has bags under his eyes. "What, Marla?" he impatiently asks.

"I'm so sorry, Tristan.. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now. I know I'm disgusting for what I did. I know you'll never forgive me. But I do know you'd be so much happier with someone else." I take a deep breath before saying something I should have said long ago.

"We need to break up."