cotton candy stitches

July 31, 2018

The cool ocean breeze blows past me as I make my way towards the beach. The soft sand fills my flip flops. Seagulls caw from above me. It's honestly a really beautiful day.

"Hey..." I turn to see Tristan, his hair messily falling over his forehead. His eyes are still slightly red but he still gives me a small smile.

"Hey," I murmur. He takes my hand and leads me into the ocean. It's almost in the same spot where he had asked me to be his girlfriend. My chest squeezes as my breath gets shorter.

Tristan pulls me into him, holding me tight. I hug him back, wrapping my arms around him and inhaling his smell. I feel tears start to slowly drip down my face as I bury it into his shoulder. We stay like this for what seems like forever but I don't mind it. I need to fix this.

Tristan pulls away hesitantly as he wipes the tears off of my face. His hands hold my hips as he places his forehead on mine.

His lips brush up against mine and for a second, I think of what could have been. We would have been so happy. He treated me right and yet, I still fucked it up. He backs up but his hands remain on my hips.

"You gave me a lot of time to think, Marla. I... I fell in love with you. And it sucks that I can't have someone as amazing as you. It also sucks that you cheated on me. I trusted you." I flinch at that. He's right though.

"But I can see you're so much happier with Zach, even if I think he's a bit of an asshole. Marla, I love you a lot. I just want the best for you." I start tearing up again. I take a deep breath before spilling out my guts.

"I never would have believed you'd be such an amazing guy. I took you for granted and I'm so sorry. I feel so shitty about it and I just wish I treated you right. I know I'm a terrible person for that. It's all my fault you're hurt. I shouldn't have cheated on you and nothing like that will ever be excusable. You deserve a person as amazing as you. You're the best person ever and... I love you too, Tristan. Sometimes I wish Zach weren't in the picture, just so I wouldn't end up hurting you like this." It's hard to talk while crying but I end up working through it.

He nods sadly. "Tristan, you mean the world to me. This just wasn't the right time, I guess. I'm so sorry for treating you like this and I just wish I could change the past. There is no way you'll be able to forgive me but I want to at least try. You deserve someone better than me. It's my fault and you don't have to forgive me."

Tristan seems to take all of this in, a range of emotions floating around in his eyes. It hurts just watching it happen. Finally, he wraps his arms around me tightly. I return the hug with just as much passion. I hate myself for hurting this sweet man.

"I'm so sorry," I murmur into his shoulder. He nods but doesn't say anything.

I pull back and see him shed tears. He quickly wipes them away before asking me to close my eyes.

I smile and do so.

I can hear Tristan struggling to get whatever it is out of his pocket, but soon enough, he gets it out. "Open your eyes."

In front of me, Tristan has a pair of earrings. They're simple but so amazing. They're in the shape of roses and are in a rose gold.

"Even if I can't be your boyfriend, I still want to be your friend. I guess this is my goodbye gift as your boyfriend." I let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding.

"They're... They're absolutely beautiful." I stare at them before I tuck them into my pocket.

Tristan chuckles. "I'm glad you like them," he says, smirk and all. I playfully slap his arm. Thankfully, I got him a gift too. I pull out a small bracelet with his name engraved in it. He smiles so wide when I put it on him. Shyly, I place my hand on his cheek.

"This is my other goodbye gift as your girlfriend." I plant a quick kiss on his lips. I pull away, not feeling any sort of spark. He seems to notice that too and smiles softly at me.

"Thank you," we both say simultaneously.

We laugh at each other as Tristan pulls me tight against him. I stay with him for the rest of the afternoon. He's genuinely so amazing and deserves someone better than me. I'm happy if he's happy.