Treacherous

Chapter Fifteen

Finished na

Elias Manuel's

Inihatid ko si Mayora sa ospital. Mag-aalas kwatro iyon nang umaga at napakatahimik ng ospital. Naririnig ko nga iyong yabag ng mga sapatos. Hawak ko lang ang kamay ni Andeng. Hindi pa rin ako matigil sa pag-iyak at kahit nagmamaneho ay naluluha ako. Hindi ko matanggap na iyon ang kapalit na hinahanap niya sa akin – isang bagay na napakahirap ibigay ngunit kailangang gawin.

We reached her room. She sat on the bed and looked at me.

"Can you get my bag. It's under the pillow. Doon yata nilagay ni Cassie kanina." Wika niya. Tahimik lang akong sumunod. Iniabot ko iyon sa kanya. "Sit with me, My shy gigolo boy."

Pinanood ko siya habang binubuksan iyong bag niya. May kinakapa siya roon.

"There!" She giggled. All the while, nakatingin lang ako sa kanya kas inga sinusulit ko na lang iyong panahon na magkasama kaming dalawa. Bilang ang oras – pero masaya ako dahil gagawin niya ang tama. She handed me her memory album.

"Why?"

"You gave me your ukulele, so I'm giving this to you. It's one of my priced possession, Ruel. I have no idea what would happen after the operation, but I am hoping for good things only, but deep inside of me, I was hoping my memories will be wiped out, so the next time I'll see you, I could and I would look at you in your eyes and tell you from the bottom of my heart that I don't remember you."

Napaiyak na naman ako.

"Hey, don't cry." Sabi niya pa. Hinaplos niya ang dibdib ko. "You are my greatest memory, Ruel. You are my best feeling – and sex." She laughed. "And even if I forget, I' sure a part of me will remember – ang gulo ko diba?"

Humagulgol akong parang bata.

I came to the Philippines wanting to be successful in the business field. I wanted power and I am this close to this but right now, all I can think about was how stupid I am for doing this. Hindi ko pinagsisihan ang naging oras ko kasama si Andeng, nagsisisi lang ako dahil sa maling oras at pagkakataon kami nagkakilala. Just like that stupid love song...

We have the right love at the wrong time.

"Ruel please don't cry. Nasasaktan ako."

"At ako hindi?" Malumanay ngunit may panunumbat na wika ko. She gasped. "Pero gagawin ko, para sa'yo iyon. I just hope, you remember how much I love you, because I do love you. I love you, Andeng, Mayora, Andy, Andromeda, whatever you want to call yourself. I love you. I love you, I love you."

"Eu te amo." She smiled at me. Matagal ko siyang tinitigan pagkatapos ay kinuha ko iyong memory album niya. She didn't know it but I slip her star necklace in her bag. I hope when she finds it, she'll be able to know wthat that means to me – to us.

Tumayo ako para umalis na. I was halfway through the door when she called me.

"Ruel..." I stopped and looked at her. She was standing now. Sobbing too. "Do you have a kissing package? 'Cause I badly need one right now."

Bumalik ako at hinawakan ang mukha niya nang magkabilang kamay ko. We were both still crying, I kissed her. I've always wanted to kiss her but not like this, not when she was saying goodbye, not when I am on the verge of losing her.

I kissed her good and hard. I kissed her until we were both panting for air and then she pushed me away.

"Adues, meu timido, Gigolo."

Andeng turned her back on me, and maybe that was my cue. I stood there, counted from one to ten, thinking that if she looks back, maybe there's still hope but she didn't. I left the hospital suite and drove home. Napakalungkot ng nararamdaman ko. Hindi ko alam kung makakaramdam pa ba ako ng liwanag o kasiyahan sa buhay.