My Thoughts And Other Randomness

oof

  Hey, hi, hello, how are you? So, I've been kinda mia lately. Whoops. Anyway. Here it is. Everything spilled out.

   Okay, first, I've missed.. A little over a week of school. No, I haven't just been skipping. A lot has been going on.
  It started out as strep. Ya know, with medicine it only lasted like two days. So that was fine. But I was wheezing too. If you know me personally, I don't ever wheeze. I never have, until now. When I get sick, it's usually just a minor cold, or strep. So, not being able to breathe, and wheezing is very new to me. Very strange, weird, and very unsettling. To the people that do wheeze and such, I'm sure you are kinda use to it.
  But waking up, feeling like someone is standing on my chest, or holding my chest down, at first really freaked me out. During anxiety or panic attacks, that's something I'm use to. But waking up, coughing and feeling like someone is trying to rip out my lungs? Yeah, no.
  It's been over a week, and they still aren't 100% sure of what's going on. I started losing weight, apparently enough to be concerned with. Although I was drinking a lot of fluids, with the fever and my body feeling like it was on fire, it didn't help. I was still dehydrated. Therefore, because of not being able to actually take a regular breathe, being dehydrated, being so wheezy, and the constant weight lost...
  I was hospitalized Thursday. Thank God it was just overnight though.
  Yeah, see the doctors there thought it was asthma, I don't have asthma. That's been confirmed already.
  I can breathe and such a lot better, but there is certain moments where it's more of a struggle. I still wake up mildly coughing. That sucks.
  I was at the doctor everyday of the week. Except Saturday and Sunday. Sunday they are closed, and Saturday I finally got a break. I got a break yesterday too. And today because they are closed, and since tomorrow is a holiday, they are closed tomorrow. But, I go back Tuesday. And from there, they plan to send me to a lung specialist, and see what the actual fuck is going on.
  Once again, I've never been wheezy or anything, so it's very unsettling that this is happening, especially since it's been constantly occurring over a week.
  My family is so stressed out. My older brother is taking his stress out on everyone and that makes me wanna smack him. My mother won't admit it, but I know it scares her so much that she can't sleep, or that she cries. Going back to my older brother, he has embarked himself into my personal space. I basically can't get a break. He is always there.
  Don't get me wrong, I love him. I just. Need thinking room. And breathing room, but I already don't have that apparently. 
  They are all scared and worried, and honestly.. I hate to admit it, I hate to say it, but I am too. I haven't been letting it get to me though, ya know?
  My brother keeps coming up with crazy theories of what it is. I laugh, but then I overthink. Anyway.
  That's about it guys. Until next time, stay gay!✌