My Thoughts And Other Randomness

Hey Dad..

  I know you'll never see this.. but I gotta say it, you know?
  I'm just sitting here in my room.. texting B.. I actually felt okay.. then it hit me. You really won't be here for my birthday.
  It sucks,dad.. it really does.. I found a picture of you and I last night. One I had really forgotten about. It broke a piece of me. I miss you. I think about you everyday. I still get asked about you. Although I don't know where you are, or how you are doing, I just smile and say you're good. Because that's what I make myself believe. That you are good. That you are okay.
  I won't have you coming in there, jumping on me and screaming happy birthday. I won't have you to talk about all the memories we have to. I guess I'll talk to B about them. She hears about you all the time. You would've liked her,dad. She's great.
  I just..
  Just take care,okay..?
There is a lot I would and could say.. I just can't. I stay mad at you. I stay missing you. I'm trying to cope though. I promise. I'm doing good in school. My job is going good. I just wish you were here to see it..