(Loki x reader) The Evil One

29: Choose

"Yes, doll. There is."

Bucky scared the crap out of me when he said this, emerging from the couch. I hadn't known he was there.

When they said these things, they weren't glaring at one another. They weren't looking like two cats ready to pounce.

They looked like they'd already talked about it. They also showed signs of being mad at me.

I shifted my weight around. "Well....look, what is it-"

"We're both in love with you, clearly," Bucky snipped. "And you're in love with both of us, clearly."

I stared at him with raised eyebrows. "Well...um, that's not exactly-"

"If it's not true, who do you prefer?" Loki asked cooly.

I wanted to sit down, I really did.

"What're you boys doing to Y/N?" Natasha asked, voice in a low drawl. She'd just walked in soundlessly.

I spun to look at her pleadingly. "Talking to me about things!"

Natasha saw our body language, and settled slowly onto a couch. "Things," she repeated.

I slumped into a couch as well.

Both Loki and Bucky looked suddenly uncomfortable with Natasha in the room.

"Well," she shrugged. "Keep talking. I'm just sitting here."

"You've gotta choose, doll." Bucky's instructions were simple. "Loki. Or me. And neither will be angry with you for your choice, it's yours. But clearly, it's beating you up."

I crossed my legs over dramatically. "Well..."

Loki looked out the window.

I could tell he already thought I was picking Bucky.

That. That was my fault. I'd told him I could just go to Bucky; that Bucky would treat me better.

But I was teasing. Actually, I was only testing him. That was a mistake. Loki was always rejected. Always. And it's not fair for me to do that.

Loki had no one. Well, he had his overgrown corgi of an older brother, but that doesn't count.

Bucky had Natasha and Steve, and Tony at times.

Not all times, in fact, probably two times.

But Tasha, I could tell, was still in love with Bucky.

And I didn't want her to feel like an afterthought when I chose Loki.

And I loved Loki more. The dark, hurt side. The pain hidden. That sometimes he shared, sometimes he let me heal a bit of him. And he was doing really good. I mean, he was still himself, but he didn't try to kill Tony willy-nilly anymore.

And he wasn't hiding all the time, either. He came out of his shell, he joined parties, though he mainly sulked. But he came, that's the point. And I know, it's cause of me.

And me. Me. I'm an idiot. It's all my fault Loki is now shrinking back into himself.

But Bucky has others.

Loki has me.

Me.

And I have him. Well, that's not all, but the fact that he chose me over the others, meaning Tasha and Wanda, still made me feel important for once.

But that's not actually saying much.

The words 'we won't be angry' were lies. I could hear it.

No matter who I chose, the other would be hurt.

"You seriously want me to choose?" I asked in barely a whisper.

Loki looked at the floor.

The shadowing accented his cheekbones, only making him somehow more intimidating. "Yes, darling, we do."

He said 'we' in a way that said 'not me'.

"And you actually want to hear the answer?" I continued.

Both gave a tiny nod.

"What if I choose Loki?" I whispered. I couldn't speak loudly.

Natasha stood up. "Then Bucky will survive. He has-had me. And he has Steve, he'll be fine."

"And what if I choose Bucky?"

"You'll be unhappy," Loki muttered.

I stared at him. "You don't know that! Do you?"

Loki nodded to the floor.

Bucky sighed heavily, "well, Natasha, she loves him."

I glared at Loki.

Natasha nodded. "That wasn't an easy thing for her," she whispered to Bucky, but I heard her. "Leave her be."

Bucky spared me a glance, and followed Tasha out of the room

Now it's just me.

And Loki.

Me and Loki.