Killed and Saved by Her

The Flashback

I'd cut so many times they all blurred together. I couldn't remember what happen the first few times. My life was just one big unfortunate event. I got good grades and did everything well, I just wasn't socially adept. It was awful. The last time I'd tried was when I 'came out' to my parents. It was a painful memory.

"Mami,Papi.... there is something I must tell you." I said head bowed as we sat at the dinner table. My hands were clammy and I was slightly shaking. I knew this would end badly. "I..I, I'm bisexual. I l-like girls and-d boys. I I'm sorry." They stared at me facial expression changing rapidly from confusion to disgust. They shared a look and I knew what was coming. Father stood up, walked around the table and grabbed my arm squeezing painfully. I was hit somewhere, everywhere, everything hurt. They threw me in my room and locked me in there. I missed school for a week. No one noticed. I was starving and the bottle of water beside my bed was almost empty. I was going to end my own misery when they came in. The caught me and took me to the hospital. All the cuts, bruises and lumps were from self harm supposedly. No one batted an eyelid.

This time it was so many things. Mother and father threatening to kill me, punching, kicking and throwing me. It was because I was lonely even though I never tried to make friends, but most of all it was Ama. Ama and I used to walk to the same bustop outside of school together. It was only us usually but her friends were with her this time. I said it to her, I whisper my confession in her ear. She pushed me away, looking confused and...and disgusted. She hated me for that. I know it. Mother and father almost killed me that night. They never found out I told her but for some reason that night was the breaking point. When it all went to hell. The neighbour next door had been suspicious for a long time and called the police. They found my parents fuming in the kitchen and me half dead in my room. I was covered from head to toe in bruises and lumps of all kind. Evidence of their abuse. They also found lines upon lines of cuts made by me. On my arms, legs stomach and the larger two on my face. Blood stained everything. I was all over the floor but mostly on the bed. I remember them picking me up and screaming in agony. The pain had been too much so I blacked out. Those were the last 2 times I'd ended up in hospital for attempted suicide and parental abuse. The rest I can't remember clearly. It happened so many times.

I hope now it will stop. It has to. I have to get over Ama first. I'm going to try. Try harder. I'll make some friends and, maybe I could try something new. Like.... singing or, or I could join the art club. That might help. But first I had to put my past behind me. There was no other way around it.