oreo // lashton

always.

I'm a fly that's trapped

In a web

But I'm thinking that

My spider's dead

Lonely, lonely little life

I could kid myself

In thinking that I'm fine

Always ~ Panic! at the Disco

~

Ashton's POV

I leaned over the toilet, tears streaming down my face. I tried so fucking hard to eat tonight! I just thought I could do it. I was just so fucking confident when I made my plate. I was just so fucking confident when I took a bite. When I took another bite. When I took five more bites.

All that confidence left when I ran to the bathroom. 

"I'm so sorry, Luke." I said as Luke made his way into the bathroom. I wiped my face with my sleeve, not caring that it would stain. This hoodie was way too big anyway. Luke wrapped his arms around my stomach from behind me. I put my arms on the seat of the toilet, laying my head on them.

I can't get better, can I?

"I know, kitten. Relapsing is part of recovering." He said, laying his head on my shoulder. I let out a shaky breath, very little tears still streaming down my face. Next thing I knew, I was shaking with sobs once again. I was gasping for breaths. 

I did it again. I had ate in the hospital, so why couldn't I do it here? I mean, sure, I ate very little everyday, but I thought I was getting better. But I never was getting better. I was just joking with myself when I said I was going to get better. 

"Don't give up so soon." Luke said, wrapping his arms tighter around me. I shook my head, not wanting to look at him. I would just see disappointment. 

"Ashton? Are you alright?" My mum said, sitting next to my side. I felt Luke let go of me. I knew it was so my mum could try to comfort me. I just shook my head again, sitting on my mum's lap and wrapping my arms around her neck.

I just stayed there, my mum's arms around me and my hand in Luke's, until I fell asleep.

~

"Ash, wake up." I heard a voice say. I opened my eyes, seeing I was in my mum's bed. My head was on someone's chest. I looked up, being greeted by Luke. I smiled at him, laying my head back on his chest and rubbing my eyes.

"Your mum said we have to get ready for school." He said. I groaned.

"Ew." I said, sitting up slowly. Luke smiled, going in for a kiss. I put my hand on his mouth, pushing him away slightly.

"Your breath smells ratchet." I said. He licked my hand, causing me to take it away and wipe it on his shirt. 

"So does yours." He said, smiling at the reaction he got out of me. I rolled my eyes, getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom. Luke went into my room, coming back with his toothbrush. 

"You didn't have a bag with you yesterday." I said, looking at him with a look of confusion. 

"I went to get one when you were asleep." He explained. Wait, if we slept in my mum's bed, where did she sleep?

"Did my mum sleep on the couch?" I asked, squirting toothpaste on my toothbrush. Luke nodded, taking the toothpaste from me and putting some on his own toothbrush. I laughed, comparing my black toothbrush to his bright pink one.