Fight

P. Twenty five

LUNA
My smile faints when the young man places his hand on the side of my boob. Again? Awful image flash by for the second time today. He pulls me closer with that hand. So young already. I place my hand on his, squeeze not too harsh and remove his hand from my body. 'Smile,' the father of the boy says. I manage to softly smile, but my mind is going wild. I'm quitting. I walk away. 'Where you going?' I wave my hand while shaking my head. I need to get out, take some time to come to myself again. 'It happened again K, I need some time for myself.' I see her nodding in the corner of my eye.
'That's fine. You should.' As we leave the property I get asked allot for photos and autographs. I tried signing as quick as possible, slipped in some photos. I hate rejecting fans.
'Can you please make an appointment with Julia? After the races if possible.' Kala nods.
'Of course. You can talk to me too, if you want.' I smile and wrap my arms around her.
'I know.'

I giggle at something Nola said. All of a sudden I get separated from the girls by strong hands pulling on my arm. What the fuck? I trip and fall down on the ground, my head hits the ground. Two male show, but I can't see who they are. It's to dark, I can only see their shadows. I try crawling away but one of them holds me by my legs, while the other slides his pants down. No. I try to say something but nothing leaves my mouth. I'm paralyzed, I can't move, my body feels so heavy. The man speaking something in their own language. A hand moves over my leg to my panties. He moves my panties to the side and rushes himeself inside of me. Mama please. Get me out of here. A noise gets me out of my memory. 'Are you okay?' Lola asks popping her head in the bathroom. I relax my body that I was flexing.
'Yeah I'm fine.' I smile at her.
'You've been in here a long time, you're getting wrinkles.' I don't know how long I've been in the bath. I softly smile. My fingers indeed are wrinkled. I let the water drip away and get up. Lola hands me a towel before she sits down on the closed toilet. 'You're not okay.' I dry myself.
'I am really.' She shakes her head. Of course she knows I'm not ok.
'What's going on?' I put my underwear and pjs on.
'If you didn't came in I would've relived the worst night ever. My whole day has been shit. Two males touching me, I know I'm gonna get it often. I don't hope so, but that's how boys work.' Lola wraps her arms around me.
'Yes that's how they work, but you got a good ass and two beautiful melons. Even in those ugly pjs.' I giggle. What's wrong with my pjs? 'Tell all those million followers you don't want them to touch you. Or try to forget about it somehow, I don't know what's like, I can only image how hard it is. But they only do it because that way they can show off. They just wanna act tough. Try playing it cool, touch their butt too. It's your body Guusje, your decision.' Only now we let go of each other. 'You wanna order some room service?' I nod.

***

Anger and irritation rushing through my blood. Spotify isn't working. Nothing is working with me this weekend. Everything and everyone is irritating me. Stupid extra hormones. I let my phone slip out of my hands on the track because Spotify is still isn't working after I restarted it. I don't even care my phone just broke. And I know my Spotify isn't going to work now. When I pick my phone up from the asphalt it is indeed cracked. But nothing too bad. It's starts at the bottom, because there it hit the ground. I get up from the ground. Start Lemonade on Apple Music, the only album I've bought on there. Lucky Apple Music does work. I start walking towards to front of the track.

My headphones get removed from my head. 'What's wrong with you?' I look at Charles who stops next to me, on the place he's not supposed to. Is it that noticeable?
'Nothing going right this weekend. Man unwillingly touching my body.'
'Who?' The Australian behind me ask. He's stops behind the paper with his name on it.
'Some YouTuber and a teen,' I answer Daniel. 'And my music isn't working, it's that time of the month again, tripped; twice, broke my phone, nightmares. Life is great at the moment.' I just wanna sit in my car and focus on the racing.
'Your phone again?' Daniel jokes, but at the moment I don't see the fun. 'Sorry not funny,' he apologizes.
'Sorry for interrupting,' Carlos places his hand on Charles his back. He is supposed to stand on the other side of me.
'Good luck.' Charles his hand moves over my back when he leaves.
'What for nightmares?' Daniel asks.
'Something that happened a couple years ago.' He knows what I mean.
'Have you ever had them before?' I shrug.
'For a little while after it just happened, I've been having them for two night now.' I sight.
'How long did you have the first nightmares?' Haven't I told him this?
'Around 4 times a week for a couple months until I started talking to my psychologist.' Daniel looks at me with his eyes a little widen. 'Are you gonna talk again?' I nod.
'Already made an appointment. Don't worry about me. I'm fine.' I try smiling it off, but he knows it's fake. We can go more into it later not now. Now there are too many people around us.

'Girl shut up I'm buzzy,' I say to Pierre when he talks to me not at the right time. I need to focus. I take the outside of the orange car. He's fighting back. 'Arg! Come on baby!' I yell to myself and the car. And I'm past.
'Well done keep pushing.'
'Sorry I was a bitch, I didn't meant it like that,' I apologize to him. He knows what's going on with me this weekend but I needed to say it now.
'I know.'