Curious

What are you worth

"Why don't you just spit it out Tay?" Natasha called out from the couch of the trailer while Taylor paced back and forth so quickly she might as well have burned a hole in the carpet.

"I can't just-" Taylor shook her head, mumbling and sighing. She looked at Natasha whose eyebrows rose.

"I keep my lips sealed, come sit." She patted the cushion beside her. Taylor crossed her arms, deciding. She was honestly in such a deep emotional mess that she had to tell someone. Slowly she sat down, facing Natasha's expectant brown eyes.

"You ever breathe a word of this you are fucking dead." Taylor started, taking a deep breath. "I'm in well a situation. Someone I love has hurt me, and I fear I will never what I deserve to be with them."

Natasha stared at her for a few moments, blinking. She laughed.

"Taylor just spill it all. You know I'm here for you. I hate to see you like this. You've been anxious and you're focusing all your energy into forgetting what's bothering you." Natasha tried to calm Taylor down, letting her know that she noticed her. "We're family. Come on."

Taylor looked down, playing with the table top pattern. She was so afraid of saying it out loud, it nearly tore her in two. Natasha wasn't someone she readily opened up to, despite loving her as she did all her cast mates, sometimes she was a little much. But Natasha was trying here, and Taylor had to give her that.

"You really want to know? I've been sleeping with someone for months and now she's with a man and she's pregnant and wants to keep up this lie...and Tash, I can't be second best for her. I love her, and I want to be in her life." Taylor spat it out, like it would have killed her if she kept it in.

"Someone? You still don't trust me Tay? I'll be damned girl," Natasha made a fuss, playing on Taylor's fringed nerves until the woman finally let go.

"Laura." Taylor whispered, muttering it so fast under her breath that Natasha did a double take. Taylor took a deep breath, her heart pounding in double time as she realized what she just did.

She watched as Natasha leaned back, blinking those wide brown eyes again at the information. She chuckled, rubbing Taylor's hand.

"Oh I knew you two were fucking." Natasha cackled at Taylor's paling face. She shook her head, waving her hand down at her. "No no I never witnessed nothin, but you always lit up around her. And god, that chemistry. Come on Tay, it's obvious. I'm sorry she screwed you though."

"I don't even know, I mean god I'm suddenly a mistress? Who am I? I don't even recognize myself anymore..." Taylor sighed, putting her head in her hands. Natasha squeezed Taylor's shoulders, her arms around her neck.

"Gee...I don't think you're a home wrecker. I think you need to come clean with her." She shrugged, playing with the counter. "So pre is really pregnant? As in bun in the oven?"

"Baked fresh by her and Ben truly," Taylor bitterly retorted back. She leaned back in the chair, shaking her head, scoffing at herself. You really fucked up Taylor. The voice in her head kept screaming over and over. Natasha whistled lowly,

"Well I'll be damned." She hugged Taylor softly, rubbing her shoulders. "You have to let her know how you feel Taylor. Keeping it bottled up, it's not good for you. Really, you know that. Come on, we've been friends for years. Listen to me. She doesn't get to make the decisions about you two without your approval."

Natasha got up, realizing that Taylor wasn't going to tell her much more and that was okay by her. She just needed to know the woman was stable.

"Thank you, Tasha, it means a lot to me. You're actually a great listener if you try," Taylor teased, helping the other woman out of the trailer. Natasha gave her one last swift hug before she scampered off to her own trailer leaving Taylor to stew in her thoughts.

Oh and stew she did.

Taylor played a game of touch with her phone for what felt like hours. She had to call Laura to ask to talk to her, to see her again, to hear that delicious voice...but it was all too much for her. She knew Laura had meetings with her publicist today, which meant she wouldn't come in for coverage until next week. But Taylor needed her.

Slowly she walked to the window in the trailer, looking outside. Snow had began to cover the location, piling up. Taylor sighed, knowing she was filming outdoor scenes today. Just a typical December afternoon in New York. She made her way down to leave her trailer, heading out for fresh air.

Natasha was right, she needed to come clean with Laura, but a part of Taylor didn't want to loose the magic of what they had together. The ultimatum was not optimal and Taylor knew Laura would pull it again, all or nothing. How could the woman she love watch her suffer like this? Taylor asked herself this question, realizing just how much it hurt when she saw Laura with Ben and suddenly she was supposed to be fine with it because Laura said I love you back to her?

"Hey," A soft tap on the shoulder broke Taylor from her obsessive inner thoughts. She turned, not ready for the face she would see next.

"Laura? I thought you had publicist meetings today?" Taylor asked, confused at the sight of the dark haired woman in front of her. Laura gave a small shrug, her boots digging into the snow around her feet.

"We finished early, I came by to see how everyone is doing." She replied, looking away from Taylor, towards the snowfall. Taylor followed her eyes up, stealing a glance at her face, noticing her red nose from the cold temperatures. Laura was not the best in extreme temperatures, her skin was very sensitive.

"I was about to head into makeup. I have call time at 3, with Uzo." Taylor explained, her hands in her pockets. The air between them was bitterly cold, and neither one wanted to step up and change it. Laura nodded, tugging on her beanie and her shoulder bag.

"I'm going to drop this off in the trailer, but do you mind me going to makeup with you? I feel like we haven't seen each other in ages Tay," She asked, frowning. Taylor didn't take the bait, turning to head to makeup.

"I'm not sure the artists would like another body crowding the trailer. Sorry," She walked away, hanging her head to block out anything Laura replied.

Laura stood still, watching Taylor leave her. She pulled her jacket tighter against herself, her mind whirring a million miles a minute at the cold exchange. She had expected for Taylor to be happy to see her, to hug her...to show any emotion whatsoever. And it just wasn't there.

Deflated Laura made her way into her trailer, processing what just happened. She kicked off her boots, and peeled her layers off before curling up on her couch. Everything felt colder than before. Laura bit her lip, cursing under her breath at herself. Something was wrong with Taylor, and it felt like her fault. She hated this, agonizing over the other woman but she loved her and that was the price to pay. Now she worried about her, and them, and it was all confusing.

"Knock knock, thought I saw you around the block!" Natasha poked her way into Laura's trailer, seeing her on the couch. She looked up, sighing.

"Natasha, I want to be alone sorry," Laura apologized tersely, not in the mood for visitors. Natasha paused raising her hands.

"No biggie...you really down about something? You can talk to me ya know," she offered, trying to be sympathetic to Laura's feelings, while she also knew the situation between her and Taylor. The brunette shook her head, giving a rough laugh.

"Not something you can comprehend. Really Natasha just go, it's fine." Laura tried to shoo her out again, thinking of how ridiculous it all would be if she told her. Lightly she rested her hand on her stomach, feeling the start of a bump between her toned muscles.

"Well alright then. The caf has salmon on the menu tonight, if you're staying that long. See you round Pre." Natasha made her way out, not willing to pressure Laura into talking. It made her sad to see the disconnect between Laura and Taylor, considering she had always boosted for their friendship and well relationship too.

Laura let out a deep breath as Natasha finally left, and mumbled to herself.

"Taylor Jane what the hell have you done to me?"