Curious

Own it

"Oh no I'm sorry, have you not made a decision yet or am I mistaken? Or are you just not telling anyone," Patricia quickly backtracked as she realized Laura's reaction to her comments. The kitchen grew silent, save for Sam's gulping of coffee. He walked his plate to the sink, turning his back so the women would talk without him.

"Mom, you can't just..." Taylor's frustrated comment was cut short by Laura speaking over her. The brunette held Taylor's kneecap under the table, telling her to back off.

"It's fine, it was bound to get out anyway. I told you Tay, beached whale and all. Patricia, I'm sorry I don't have all the answers yet. I am pregnant. I'm about roughly 3 months, and it's due in July so we have time...to figure this all out." Laura explained with a shrug. Patricia tsked, shaking her head.

"There's nothing to figure out dear. You'll be ready, I promise you. I was scared, and look what came out of my first pregnancy, this 5'8 freaking super model." She pinched Taylor's cheeks, earning her a spread of warm blush. Laura smiled at Taylor's embarrassment, running her hand over her kneecap tenderly. She saw the blonde relax significantly, her shoulders lowering. "I am glad someone I know is having a baby likewise, you know. I have these nursery art pieces and nowhere to place them with no grandkids." Patricia added, looking longingly at Taylor as she hand dried the dishes. Sam got up, shaking his head.

"We didn't come home to be scolded for not providing babies ma," he whined sarcastically before heading off to get ready. Laura looked between Taylor and her mother, feeling tension come back in the air. Taylor bit her lip briefly before standing up, her hands in her sweat pants pockets.

"I'm going to go shower." She huffed, jogging up the stairs. Patricia sighed, wringing her hands on the dish towel. Laura watched her, taking a deep breath.

"Laura dear," Patricia asked softly, hesitant before sitting next to the younger woman. Laura could see Taylor's features in her mother as she sat closer. "May I ask...Is Tay, is she doing okay?" She questioned, her kind eyes looking into Laura's. Laura balked at the question, surprised by Patricia's forwardness.

"I-I mean...it's Taylor. She's not the easiest nut to crack, you know? She has her ups and downs, doesn't make me love her any less." Laura admitted, realizing she had just said she loved Taylor but not stopping herself. Patricia smiled, nodding.

"I love her. I really do, my only daughter. I worry that she's too stressed or she's cooping herself up but she's grown I guess. Tough having your little girl grow...I remember her sitting in her high chair just over there throwing her mashed peas at me. Little rascal." Patricia laughed. "I want her to be happy, just whatever makes her happy. Whoever. To see that smile, I know that I've made it."

Laura listened to Patricia's stories with interest, realizing how complex her relationship with Taylor was. She got up, pulling down the sweatshirt hem a little more, smiling.

"You don't have to worry about Taylor being happy. I can promise you that."
•
The rest of Laura's visit to Taylor's mother's house was mostly full of board games and different soups. The snow kept them inside, drinking cocoa and distracting themselves. It gave Laura a lot of perspective.

They pulled out of the driveway on their way home, Sam turned down the radio and angled himself to look over at Laura and Taylor sitting beside him.

"Are you two a thing?"

His question was responded to with a fisted smack from Taylor into his shoulder. She groaned, shaking her head.

"Seriously Sam? Shut up and drive," She begged, turning to face the road. Laura blushed, biting her lip.

"You might be onto something Sam." She responded with a tease. Taylor snapped back up, hanging over the back of her seat to look at Laura.

"What the hell?" Taylor asked as Sam chuckled, and started to drive. Laura shrugged,

"Oh come on it's Sam. He knows everything." She defended him, chuckling. Taylor turned back, crossing her arms.

"Fine. We have a thing. I don't know what to call this thing, if I had to be honest." She mumbled, looking down and away. Laura reached up to rub her shoulder softly.

"The baby complicates it. A lot. But Ben's out of the picture." She said to Sam as he drove.

"I mean I had an idea it was happening. Tay's never been subtle." He teased, turning the radio back up as they drove through miles of Boston's wilderness towards New York.

•

Laura and Taylor arrived at Taylor's place late in the afternoon, the hazy sun setting between clouds full of upcoming snow.

"Thank you for this weekend. Your mom is sweet," Laura said as they walked into the inviting brownstone. Taylor immediately set her suitcases down and went to put her kettle on the stove.

"Yeah I guess so." She commented, shrugging and pulling tea bags from the cabinet. Laura made her way into the kitchen, leaning against the drawers.

"You're right, I can't have this baby alone. I'm too scared, and I don't want them to be isolated. My childhood was weird, and non conventional but I had so much fun. Because I had other people, and my siblings. Life doesn't have to be picture perfect, and so what if I raise my child with my gay partner. I don't have to validate my life to anyone but myself." She proclaimed, gesturing passionately. Taylor looked up into Laura's sparkling green eyes, seeing her enthusiasm as she spoke her honest truth. Gently she held her hand, entwining their fingers.

"Laura...are you sure?" Taylor asked, furrowing her brow. Laura kissed her cheek tenderly, nodding. Taylor closed her eyes, feeling Laura's warm breath on her skin. Goosebumps shivered down her back, but the kettle screams interrupted her next breath.

"Honey?" Taylor asked, distracting herself by pouring the boiling water into two mugs. Laura put a hand on her shoulder.

"Honey and lemon." She replied huskily, going to sit on the living room couch by the fireplace. Taylor followed with her own mug, playing with the tea bag string.

"It was weird you know," Taylor started to say, speaking broadly. She looked off into the distance, pulling her feet up onto the couch under her. "I love kids. I loved nannying. But I never...wanted my own? It seemed such a weird thing, and I never cared because I don't, really I mean you know, men..." She shifted, looking at Laura's bump. "But I see that bump, and I know what comes next and I want to be part of that. Just not having a baby. But raising one sure."

Laura rubbed Taylor's shoulder, nodding at her admittance. She didn't mind one bit. It made sense for Taylor to be that way. Just a little piece of the puzzle of who she was. Softly she wrapped her arm around Taylor's middle, leaning her head in the crook of her neck. They stared at the mugs on the coffee table, watching steam billow.

This was a decision made in the confines of each other's minds and only made after they saw just where each other had come from. Laura took a deep breath, and whispered softly.

"It's now when I wish that, you could meet my dad," She said. Taylor rubbed her back, nodding.

"I know Laura. He sees you, I'm sure of it and your work. I promise." She quietly assured her. Laura looked off towards the fireplace, looking at the photos and trinkets on Taylor's mantel. She shifted.

"He helped life make sense you know? Always answered my millions of questions..." Laura sniffled, turning away to sip her tea. Taylor rubbed her kneecap, nodding.

"I know it's early but have you considered..."

"Genders? Names? I kicked a few around with Ben, nothing stuck out. I think it's a boy, honestly but that's just my opinion. The universe loves to play games with me." Laura chuckled dryly, kissing Taylor's cheek before leaning back with a hand on her bump.

Playing games was exactly what the universe was doing.