50 days
It's a Saturday so Courtney came to my house and we just finished watching '22 Jump Street' on my laptop
Lying on the bed beside each other, enjoying one another's company
She was still laughing, her eyes squinting and her hand came up to her mouth covering it suddenly becoming self conscious of my quietness and her loudness
She had taken her meds today
I smiled at her "I like that"
"What?" She furrowed her eyebrows
"That too. I love the way when you find something funny you squint and when you are confused you always furrow your eyebrows. And you nose is really cute and buttony. I love you."
My eyes widened as I realised I said it
Courtney didn't even seem fazed, she sat up and straddled my waist staring at me intently. Her brown eyes mixing with my blue ones
"I love your blonde hair and the way you style it even though one piece is always out of place. I love your blue eyes and the way they sparkle when you are happy. I love your perfectly, pink, plump lips and the way you bite the bottom one out of habit and how you twiddle with your lip ring when your nervous or just to show off. I love your small spatter of spots across your face because it's a perfect imperfection of you. I love your eyebrows for gods sake!" She laughed "I love the way you dress always in black like me and your stupid ripped skinny jeans. I love that you're so fucking tall. I love the way you can rock a beanie even though I'm so envious because I really can't. I love that you sexually frustrate me. I love every aspect about you Luke Hemmings."
She paused "I love you."
Tears brimmed on her eyes as she smiled
I pull her face down to mine and kissed her passionately
Once we pulled apart our foreheads were resting against each other's
"I feel bad now" I blurted out
She furrowed her eyebrows again
"I said next to nothing about you compared to what you said about me" I chuckled "which is the most ironic thing I have said all day because I could write a novel on everything I love about you Courtney"
Tears started to roll down her cheeks and she started to laugh/sob
I take my thumbs and wipe them away
"You're wrong Luke Hemmings. That was the most ironic thing you have said all day; you can't write a novel on anything. Do you remember when we were about 7 or 8 and your mum made you write an apology to some kid because you called him a mean name?" She lay next to me and I started to play with her hair
"Timmy," I said nodding "the kid."
"Yeah well you put in the letter something like 'I'm sorry for calling you an accident waiting to happen because I was wrong, you already are an accident. Just ask your parents' Smart bugger"
She nudged me.
I laughed recalling the memory "Yeah that was hilarious"
We fell into silence and a question that had been playing in my mind all week re-surfaced
"What's it like?" I whispered scared for her to hear and answer me even though I craved the answer
I got nervous and started playing with her hands as we sat in silence
"Hmm?" She turned her head to see me better
"Depression, what's it like?" I clarified
She thought long and hard about her answer, "It's like drowning but... you can see everyone else around you... breathing"
She sighed and I just hugged her closer to me
"I'm sorry" I apologised
She inhaled, "I'm fine"
YOU ARE READING
"I'm Fine" ☠ l.h
Fanfiction"What's it like?" Luke whispered, playing with her hands as they sat there in silence "Hmm?" She turned her head to see the tall boy next to her "Depression, what's it like?" She thought long and hard about her answer, "It's like drowning but... yo...
