"I'm Fine" ☠ l.h

Luke

44 days

I paced the small doctors room

It's been two days the test results should be here today

"Luke honey, sit down" my mum is so calm about all of this

I sit on the edge of my seat and suddenly my back itches

"Oh my god mum itch it!" I turn away from her so she can reach my back and the growing mole on it

"I'm sorry I'm not allowed to sweetie. I'm afraid you just have to live with it" tear brimmed her eyes but she blinks them back straight away

I've never seen my mum cry or even come close to crying

I lean across and hug her, something I haven't done in years.

I obviously took her by surprise and it takes her a few seconds to respond but she does. Her hands came up to the middle of my back and she let out a sob into my shoulder

"Shouldn't I be the one crying?" I whisper to her

She starts to laugh "Yes I'm not suppose to break down in front of my son"

She pulls away and uses her thumbs to wipe under her eyes, getting any extra mascara off.

The door opens and I immediately stand up, wiping my sweaty hands on my jeans as I do so

"Luke and Liz? Hemmings?"

The dermatologist looked down at her clip board

"Yes that's us" my mum spoke up

I felt like we were in the waiting room all over again but this time with no one else in it

But we had been moved to a private room to wait, where we would get the results. Hopefully now.

She looked up and flashed a sad smile before looking back down

Fuck

"I am so sorry that I have to inform you this but Luke, you have melanoma."

"What?"

"Skin cancer"

My mum choked back another sob while I stood there.

I felt winded like the news was a ton if bricks that had hit me in the stomach going 80 miles an hour

"How um how far on is it?" I ask afraid to hear the answer again

"I'm afraid it is extremely far on, so difficult to treat"

I sigh as I being both my hands up to my face to cover my nose and mouth

"What can we d-"

"Am I going to die?" I cut my mum off

"Luke!" My mum is shocked by my bluntness

"Well I want to know!" I turn back to the dermatologist "am I?"

"Well I can't say at this point of time but your melanoma wasn't diagnosed until an advanced stage, so treatment is mainly used to slow the spread of the cancer and reduce the symptoms"

"Okay" I dragged out the last syllable trying to take this all in "What treatment then?"

"Ones such as chemotherapy"

"Damn" I curse under my breath

"The main treatment however is surgery; to remove it"

"Shit"

"Language Luke"

"I just found out I'm most probably going to die because I have an advanced skin cancer and you are worried about my language?"

Tears started to spill and I wiped them away quickly

"Why me?" I turn to face the dermatologist

"Umm well some cells in your skin are developing abnormally but we don't know why this happens" she trails off

It was silent for about thirty seconds when the dermatologist piped up again "The fact that you have pale skin and blonde hair increased your chances of getting melanoma"

"So that makes it all okay?" I snap

"Of course not but you will need to have a sentinel node biopsy" she says flicking through her papers

"English?" I'm getting pissed off with this woman now

She looks up past her glasses not even raising her head

She looks back down, sighs, then fully raises her head to look at me

"It checks to see if melanoma has spread anywhere else in your body"

"It can spread?" My mum looks devastated as she says this

"Most certainly if it isn't treated. It starts at the skin and can make it's way to other organs in the human body"

I sit down again not sure if my legs can hold me up any longer

The dermatologist silently leaves and my mum rests a hand on my shoulder

I lift my head from my hands and turn it to look at my, now calm, mum

"How am I going to tell Courtney?" I croak out

"Oh honey" she pulls me into a tight hug and I sob with my mum.