3 days
The fucking phone keeps ringing and ringing and ringing.
I know it's the therapy place that the hospital referred me to and that they are calling to check up on me and when it's not them it's random people calling and giving their condolences about Luke
I just want to tear my ears off
I pick up the keys and get in the car leaving the house and phone to be by themselves.
I slowly turn the key and If it means a lot to you plays from the speakers
I smile softly and let the lyrics wash over me.
I put my head back and close my eyes letting the memories come flooding back from when we were little.
MEMORY
Liz finally had gotten in the car and Luke asked for his favourite Cd to be put on.
I grinned widely partly because I knew Luke was going to be singing for the journey and partly because we were going to the zoo.
My thoughts were interrupted when A Day To Remember blasts through the speakers and Luke sings his bit then he nudges me for the girl part even though he knows that I know exactly when to come in and all the words he does it as a reassurance.
I sing very badly my part but Luke still watches me in awe and beats the seat in front of him along to the beat of the song smiling a lot when I finished and he joins in.
By the end of the journey it has played about five times and we have 'sung out little hearts out' as Liz put it.
The next day we both had sore throats and had to stay in bed all day together because we milked it to get out of doing anything.
The song and memory have stopped and I smile, feeling at peace with the world and this song. Even if it's only for a few minutes I'm happy reminiscing, I can pretend he is still here, pretend he never left.
I crawl over to the back and put the song on repeat and proceed to curl up into a ball of the back seats like I used to wen I was sad or tired, with my head in Luke's lap while he stroked my hair. If I stay still enough and hold my breath then I can still feel his gentle fingers delicately going through my hair, brushing it away from my face so it was less annoying. I can still feel his soft kisses being left to my temple.
He is still here.
He will always still be here in my heart
YOU ARE READING
"I'm Fine" ☠ l.h
Fanfiction"What's it like?" Luke whispered, playing with her hands as they sat there in silence "Hmm?" She turned her head to see the tall boy next to her "Depression, what's it like?" She thought long and hard about her answer, "It's like drowning but... yo...
