Peter Parker Imagines

The Seeds of Doubt

Broken, alone, shattered, what he promised you would never to be again. Well, you should have learned, that such promises are too good to be true. Your whole life, people left without warning, letting your mind to go crazy, to plant seeds.

Plant seeds about why the left. What did you do? Were you not good enough? Would you ever be good enough? Should you even try anymore? Years and years of this told you, you weren't and that you shouldn't try anymore. So that's what's you did. You when through the actions of life, never actually seeing, never actually living. You were suffocating on air as you walked around, did your job, tried to interact with others. You were cornered in a box in life, surrounded.

Then you met him. The first time he spoke, you breathed again. You saw the colors again, you heard sounds again, most importantly his voice. Something about him just made him seem so innocent, so naive, so... like someone who wouldn't hurt you.

All of a sudden you had a purpose. You started out as friends, going to each other's houses every Friday, make pizza and watch movies. You would wander the city whenever you had time and money to spare. With him you felt alive. And it was nice. But you know what they say about nice things, they never last.

Yet somehow, this felt like it could go on forever. Like just maybe this boy, Peter Parker, could deal with you and breathe life into you, even if you stayed as friends. You didn't stay friends, you became more and soon it felt like you were on cloud nine. You had never felt so good about yourself, even during a relationship, and that itself started ringing alarms in your head.

Because why would someone so good as Peter Parker, stay with you forever? He would leave eventually, because you would ruin it. You tried to ignore it. You really did, but the voice kept nagging and nagging, and you found yourself listening and listening. All of a sudden, you were walking around eggshells around Peter, and any time he brought it up, you would say "nothings wrong" and smile.

The smile that Peter had brought to life, started disappearing more and more the more the questions came.

Unknown to you, seeds were getting planted in Peter. He saw the change in you and he saw the eggshells you were trying to avoid. You kept denying it and started closing yourself off from him. So he was forced to go to himself and think.

Sometimes thinking can be the best thing, and like now, thinking can be the worst thing, as you are stuck with the voices in your head and no one to argue back. So when the voices started suggesting that Peter had done something wrong, he fell.

He fell and got caught by the snare, dragged into the trap of self-doubt. So he the only thing he could think of, he left.

He left, so you wouldn't have to act you closed anymore. He left, so he could take a breather and remind himself that, he's human, and humans make mistakes. He left, damaged, but repairable.

When he left, you were damaged but unrepairable. When the first one had left, you had failed to remind yourself that you are human. That humans are allowed mistakes. So when he left, you were betrayed.

Betrayed not by him, but by yourself. Because for once, the other left because of you, and if only the other wasn't Peter.

But now you were left broken, alone, shattered, what he promised you would never to be again. And the promise was broken, not by his accord, but by yours. All because of the seeds in your mind. The seeds of doubt.