Jellybean Jones

Chapter 52: The Light Behind Your Eyes

Jughead POV
Jellybean and I had been catching up on homework for the past hour. It was getting on for seven o'clock. We had been working uninterrupted until Dad called for us. We went into the living room and sat down. He was sitting across from us, looking rather distraught.

"What is it?" Jelly asked worriedly. Dad obviously was hesitant to tell us. I shot a concerned glance at my sister, who shot one right back. "Today's Wednesday," He began carefully, then paused once more. "And the sky's blue, what's the point?" She asked impatiently. I looked at her with a 'tone it down' kind of look. Then I realized she was twirling her hair, something she only did when she was nervous.

If my little sister was nervous, I was pretty sure I should be too. Dad sighed before finally continuing. "and on Saturday," His voice got much quieter. "the funeral's happening." He said, nearly inaudibly. "I'm not going." Jellybean muttered and started to leave the room. "We're talking about this!" Dad called after her. She, rather unexpectedly, kept walking. We both sighed.

Jellybean POV
I shut my door behind me. I didn't care. I wasn't going. I shook my head. I did care though and I knew it. A part of me felt like defying whatever the hell Dad wanted me to do. The other part of me, however, knew that I should go. The thing was, she never loved me. She didn't deserve my grief and mourning, right? She didn't deserve it.

But even though I thought she couldn't care less about me, wouldn't I want her at my funeral? I cringed at the thought, remembering that I had been nearly choked to death earlier in the year. I tried to focus on the rising and falling of my chest, making my best effort to keep my breathing regular. If I could do that, maybe I could distract myself from the battle going on inside my head.

I didn't want to go. I did want to go. I didn't. I did. I just wasn't sure what to do. I shut my eyes and pulled my knees to my chest. I sighed heavily and wished that maybe I was dreaming again. Maybe I fell asleep when I got home from Pops. Maybe I hadn't woken up yet. I knew that was just incredibly wishful thinking, but you can't blame me.

I knew I shouldn't have stormed out of the room, but I just couldn't do it. I was trying to get myself together, but I failed miserably. The war going on inside my head was raging and I just wanted it to stop. I barely processed that Jughead had come into my room. I felt his arm wrap around my waist and I was suddenly in the air. He used to forcefully carry me all the time, let's just say I inherited some stubbornness from my Dad. I tried to fight against him as he held me against his chest and started to walk back into the living room, but he was too strong.

He placed me down on the couch and sat beside me. I moved away from him and curled up in the corner. "Sorry." I muttered at Dad, feeling guilty for behaving the way I did. He just shrugged it off. "I know you don't wanna go." Dad said sympathetically. I bit my lip and said quietly. "I-I don't wanna go. Mr. Stark! I don't wanna go." Jughead rolled his eyes. "Would you quit it with the Marvel reference?" He asked. I shook my head.

Jughead POV
Jellybean snapped back to being angsty after her, pretty on point, Marvel reference. Dad tried to talk her out of it. "You will regret it if you don't go." He reasoned. She didn't answer. I was going. I wasn't going for the woman who dies. I was going for the woman I used to know. "I won't regret it." She said defiantly.

"You will." I said firmly. "You don't understand." She snapped. "How do I not understand?" I demanded. "You didn't know her recently." She spat. "She is your Mother, Forsythia." I said calmly, knowing full well that her name was a soft spot. "Don't call her that." Dad snapped. "It's her name." I muttered. "I don't care Forsyth. Don't use it." He instructed. Even though he used her name when he was mad. Jellybean was silent.