LISA | Van McCann - COMPLETED

Tyrants

I woke up feeling rough, like I had gone on a three day bender, my head resting against Benji's shoulder. My eyes adjusted to the light coming from the side of me, I now realised I had slept in the van after the gig. I didn't really want to think about last night, as awkward as it's going to be speaking to him, I just didn't want to speak about it. I wasn't in the mood to argue. I lifted my head from Benji's shoulder to see that he was awake and scrolling through some notifications on his phone.

"Sorry Ben." I apologised, feeling guilty for falling asleep on his shoulder, patting down his leather jacket from where my head as rested.

"It's alright Lisa. I've only just woken up myself. Good job you passed out when you did, you missed Ryan and Billy's do." He sighed with a slight grin, finding the situation amusing.

"What? They argued?" I seemed surprised as I thought they had resolved it last night before we had our picture taken?..

"Yeah, wasn't pretty. Dumb shit really." He shrugged and turned his head to see me furrowing my brows in confusion. "They're outside." He nodded towards the van door that was pushed open. I briefly smiled before sliding over the empty seats and stepping out of the van.
The sound of my feet hitting the floor caught the attention of Ryan and Larry. I straightened my jacket out before approaching the picnic bench that they were all sat around.

There was no Billy. Bob didn't look too happy, Ryan had a bust lip and eyebrow and Larry looked tired as shit.
I stood at the end of the picnic bench, waiting to see what they had to say, Larry handed me a cig and a lighter. I accepted and thanked with a smile.

"Anyone know where the toilets are in this place?" I asked, hoping to shed light, trying to avoid the stares Ryan was giving me.

Larry immediately stood up, "I'll show you."

I stubbed my cigarette out and left it in the ashtray so I could relight it when I came back out. I followed Larry through the pub to a sign that said "LADIES" above a door.

"I didn't really need the toilet." I said, pushing my hands into my jacket pockets.

"What?" Larry scoffed with a smile.

"I just want to know what happened..last night?" I asked a bit nervous, my fingers fidgeting, curling into fists. "Did I do anything stupid? I was a bit..?"

"No, well.." He took a deep breath before looking down to his feet before looking back to me. "You uh, you told Van that you don't want to see him again, that he's a dick and that he can go love all of them girls that he was shagging behind your back because you deserve better than him.."

I raised my hands to my head, leaning against the frame of the door that lead through to the toilets. "Oh fuck sake, Larry."

"No, Lisa. It's fine." He sighed, I took my hands from my eyes and looked to see him nervously shuffling. "He uh, Van said he needs time."

"Time?" I questioned. "..right." I knew what Ryan meant and why. He was sick of me, bored of me moaning and moping around like a dumb bitch, feeling sorry for myself. I get it. I didn't want to cry, but it's pretty hard when you're life is just backfiring on you.

"He just doesn't know how to tell you, so he kind of got me to say it." I felt for Larry, doing Van's dirty work.

"No, it's fine Larry." I smiled away the tears, pulling my hair back into its original place on my head, securing the bobble back into place. He half smiled, patting my shoulder.

"He does love you.." Larry tried to comfort me as I sorted myself out, straightening out my jacket and jeans.

"Larry, it's fine." I lightly chuckled, "I'll be out in a min."

Soon enough I returned back outside to see Ryan not looking too happy. He was doing hand gestures to Larry and once he noticed I was outside he turned and saw me. I approached him, I saw his eyes clearly, all red and puffy, bruised. Larry turned away as Ryan took my hand and lead me to behind the van.

"I uh..Larry's told you?" He asked, wiping his now long hair out of his face.

"About what I said I-" I began to apologise, hoping he knew I didn't mean it, well, partly meant it.

"No, about what I said? Why Billy's not here, why I'm all..?" He questioned, gesturing his hand around his face to make me look at his cut up face.

"Go on then. Tell me."

"You passed out when talking, don't know why. So I went to help you, and Billy wouldn't let me touch you, so I pushed him off you and yeah, he hit me so I hit him back." He shrugged, hoping I'd feel sympathy for it. I just looked at him with a grin and shook my head,

"What?" He scoffed.

"You." I pushed his shoulder lightly, making him smile. "You're a dick."
It made his smile widen and pull me into a hug.

"You said that too." He commented,

"Only because it's true." I smirked, pulling away from his grip, leaving him confused, "Just because we're ok doesn't mean we're all nicey nicey again."

"Lisa, you're confusing me." He huffed, running his hand through his hair.

"We've broken up. I broke up with you. Last night?" I watched as my blunt comment cut off his smile, watching it droop made me feel bad but I have to stick to my word.

"Oh." His eyes fell to the floor. "Is this it then? You're just going to fuck off and find some other guy? Because nothing's alright believe me, Lisa."

"Van.." I called him by his nickname, making his eyes immediately lift up to mine. "Just because I'm ok with you, it doesn't hide the fact that what you've been doing is classed as cheating? I don't date cheaters."

"But you're ok with me?"

"Yes? I'm being mutual with you, but I guess you wouldn't know what that means."

"I do."

"Really? Tell me how fucking other girls before getting to know them first is mutual?" I blurted out, my frustration getting the best of me. He looked at me and didn't know what to say.

"Look, as long as we're ok, that's fine with me." I spoke after breaking the silence that I had brought upon the conversation. "You can do whatever you want now, even though I didn't really stop you anyway." I spoke quietly, hoping that the others weren't earwigging.

"Ok." He said sheepishly. "Fine. If that's what happening between us. But I'm still calling you my girl." He grinned as he walked back round the van, his hand touching mine, leaving me with a puzzled look to my face.

I just can't win, can I?