What Was Lost // (Harry Styles FanFic)

Chapter 31

Sutter's POV

"You know, I really never started crying until you and your family came back into my life." Lilly mutters to me as we're laying in her bed doing homework.

     "Is that a bad thing?"

     Her face looks like she's pondering for her answer. "No, just an observation. I don't think I really cried the whole time you were gone, I was tough as hell. Now you're back and I'm a blubbering mess." She pouts jokingly.

     I smile at her words. "What can I say? I bring out your soft side."

     She rolls her eyes. "As if you didn't know that."

"You used to only have a soft side though, I never knew you to be hard or mean."

She looks at me like I said the wrong thing. "Yeah well, heartbreak will change you like that."

I wince, knowing I stuck my foot in my mouth. Again. "That's not what I meant really, but I guess you're right. That's something I'm just going to have to make up to you everyday to show you how sorry I am."

Her gaze softens. "No, I'm sorry. I can't throw that in your face every time we disagree on something. Plus, my dad had a lot to do with that too, not just you. Speaking of him..do you know where he is?"

I shake my head. "No, I don't think anyone does. My dad hasn't told me anything if he knows, but I don't think even he does."

She tucks a curl behind her ear and starts chewing on her pen. "Can you believe they would leave so easily like that, and then not even try to contact me or see me again? Who does that?" She asks, but I know she doesn't mean it literally.

She just means what kind of people can call theirselves parents, and care so little about their child. And I don't have an answer for that, because I'll never be able to fathom how they so easily mistreated their daughter, and then left her without a fight.

"As much as I hate to say it, they're just not good people, Lil. And the only thing they did right, was have you. You turned out the way you did because you just have the kindest heart, you are who you are because you're strong enough to overcome all the demons they tried to release onto you."

She laughs softly before looking over at me. "You don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?" I ask, perplexed.

"I am who I am, because of you. And because of your family. If I hadn't had you, there's no telling who I would be."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is." She says adamantly. "Playing with you and Jo, and seeing the way a real family is supposed to act, is the only thing that gave me any insight on what it was like to be a good person. I remember how happy y'all were as a family, and how badly I wanted that. Even before my dad started hitting me, he was never invested with me emotionally. You gave me that."

I listen to her words carefully, and try to see them from her perspective. And I get what she's saying, but deep inside of me, I just know that no matter who or what Lilly would have or could have been around, she would still be this amazing person she is today. Because that's just who she is, who she's meant to be.

I grab her hand and link our fingers together. "I know you believe that, but truthfully, all we did was show you what good people are supposed to look like. You chose to be good all on your own, because you have this amazing heart and brain, and you let it rule your world."

She smiles a closed lip smile, and shakes her head again. "You still don't see it."

"See what?" I ask, feeling exasperated.