What Was Lost // (Harry Styles FanFic)

Chapter 40

Sutter POV

    Life was all about choices, and unfortunately for me, I was about to make one right now, and I didn't know what the aftermath would be.

    Some choices were really hard, or really easy. This one seemed easy, except when I had to think about what the girl with the bright blue eyes that completely fucking owned me would say when she found out what I was about to do.

    If I did it, which I was almost sure I was going to. But then I thought of Lilly and decided maybe I was going to.

    Choices were fucking hard.

    I've been sitting in my truck right down the road from Cross's house for a good thirty minutes, just contemplating my decision. I want to kill him, but I didn't really want to go to prison for the rest of my life either.

    When I picture him fucking Lil though it almost made me feel like it would be worth it.

     The anger had been stewing inside of me for some time now. I did my best to keep it under control around Lilly, because it wasn't aimed towards her. I had no reason to be upset with her, I'm the one who left.

      Granted she didn't exactly have to fuck my best friend and cousin, but I guess that wasn't the really the point. She didn't have to be faithful or loyal to me anymore, I severed that already by breaking all my promises first.

     But Denny and Cross? No excuse.

     I realize mine and Cross's family hadn't been on great terms in a while, but we both never let that come between us personally. Whatever issues our dads had was between them. We didn't hang out or anything like we did when we were kids, but if we saw each other we would always stop and catch up. And not to mention he's my fucking cousin.

     Why the hell would he wanna dip his dick in the same place that mine had been?

      Cross and I had been really close when we were younger, even when he was always getting in trouble. And we told each other everything. I told him I liked Lilly as more than a friend for the first time when we were ten, and he kept it a secret all those years until I finally made her my girlfriend. He knew what she meant to me, he still does. The memory of the first time I ever really got mad at him pops into my head unexpectedly.

     

       Cross and I had been playing in my treehouse for the last hour and he just pulled out a dirty magazine, showing me boobs for the first time.

      "Where'd you get it?" I asked him, not knowing how he was able to get a hold of something like this.

      "I found it in this drawer in my dads room. There was all kinds of stuff man. They had like some wand things in there that vibrates when you push a button, but I didn't really like those so I just grabbed this."

      "Aren't you scared your dads gonna notice one of them missing?"

      "No way, there was so many in there he won't notice if just one of them is gone. I figure we'll look at this one for a while and then I can trade it in for another one and put this one back. They'll never know." He has a devious smile on his face, but that's just Cross. He's not a bad kid, he just does things to make his dad mad for attention. Or at least that's what my moms says.

      "I don't know Cro-" but before I get to finish, I hear footsteps coming through the leaves in the woods, that leads to the treehouse.

     "Shit!" Cross yells, and scrambles to find somewhere to hide the magazine with all the boobies and funny places with hair.

      I run over to the window to look out and see who's coming, and feel my body relax when I see that it's just Lilly.