What Was Lost // (Harry Styles FanFic)

Chapter 38

Lilly's POV

2 1/2 years ago

I hadn't seen Cross in almost two weeks, since my birthday weekend. My parents had come home from their trip, and my dad said one of the families that live in our neighborhood asked him if I was okay, because they saw me coming home late one night while they were away.

Needless to say that pissed him off, because he didn't want anyone to be asking questions about me, or my well-being. So I was currently spending my Christmas break trying to let my face and backside heal from the beating it took.

Just like last year.

The bruising was very nearly gone, only looking a light yellow now. I could probably cover it with make up and no one would notice. But truth was, I was fine with just holing myself up in my room. Losing Sutter always seemed to hit the hardest around the holidays, because we had always spent them together.

And now that my little one was gone too, I tortured myself with what they would have been like, had she never passed away and Sutter would still be here. We could have dressed her up on Halloween and showed her off to everyone. At Thanksgiving, Sutter's mom probably would have bought her a sweet little outfit, and on Christmas we would have spoiled her with way too many gifts.

But none of that was going to happen, because I was alone. And I know some of that was by choice, because all my friends would have spent every second of the day with me if I let them.

Unfortunately, they just weren't the ones I was wanting to be surrounded with at the time.

Cross's handsome face had popped up in my mind quite a few times, way more than necessary. I wasn't sure what to make of that, so I tried not to dwell on that too much. It was late at night and I was trying to lose myself in a book, or anything to stop my mind from wondering.

I suddenly heard a 'ping' sound hit the glass of my window. I look over confused, maybe thinking it was just something blowing from the wind into my window. But then while I was looking, I saw a small object fly through the air before making the same sound again.

Who the hell was throwing rocks at my window? My heart sped up as I felt hope surge inside of me that it was Sutter, and that he was coming back to me. Back to get me.

He was the only one who ever used to climb through my window, it had to be him.

I launched up off my bed and ran as fast as I could to my window, not worrying if my steps were too loud and would displease my father. If Sutter was back, I'd never have to worry about another punishment again.

     I lifted up the window seal and leaned out and looked down, a smile so wide on my face it was making my cheeks ache. "Sut-" I start to say, but then I see Cross standing there, with a pile of small pebbles in his palm. "Oh..hey." My voice sounds completely deflated.

     "Hey, is this not a good time?" Cross asks, obviously hearing that something is wrong. I'm guessing he didn't hear the name I almost called him. Or he's polite enough not to acknowledge it.

      "No, it's not that. I just thought you were someone else." I decide to be honest and tell him, not having the energy to come up with anything else.

     "Who..oh." Realization flashes across his face, I can even see the pity look he gives me with how dark out it is, and how far below me he is. "I forgot he used to come through your window sometimes. Should I knock on your door?" He asks, and starts to walk around the side of my house to where my door is.