Almost [GirlXGirl]

9

"Para pilitin ako umuwi."

Hanggang ngayon, palaisipan parin sakin yan. Dahil hanggang ngayon ayaw pa rin sakin sabihin ni AA kung bakit. Ayaw niya daw muna pag-usapan yun. Naiinis ako dahil gusto ko to malaman. Siyempre wala akong ibang alam sakanya kundi isa siyang supervisor, editor, estudyante at may dalawang kaibigang nasa States.

"Earth to Danielle!" Panggugulo sakin ni AA

"Oh?" Straight face kong tanong.

"What keeps you thinking?" she curiously asked.

"You." I answered.

"oh." And still her mouth is shut. Sigh.

"Cmon AA. Share something!" I nagged.

"You sure?" She seemed to be somewhat scared. Scared of what?!

"Dead serious! I am two ears open and my mouth shut to listen. Just shed some light! Nangangapa ako sayo oh." Nakakafrustrate lang naman kasi diba?!

"Okay okay!" She sighed and hands on the air, motioning she surrenders. "Mula ng umuwi sila dito, few months ago, uhhm, pinipilit nila ako umuwi, ahh, how will I say this, para dalawin ko sa November 1st si Mommy."

Oh. I nodded so she can continue.

"Back when I was uhm, 16, thats 4 years ago ata, naaksidente kami ni Mommy. Hit and run. I survived, she didn't. Sa states kami nun, and hindi talaga nalaman kung sino ung driver dahil gabing gabi nun at halos kami lang ang nasa kalye." she inhaled exhaled harshly.

"It's all my fault! Kaya simula nun, hindi na uli ako nagbakasyon sa states and stayed here, it is also the reason kaya hindi na ako nagddrive ulit kahit na marunong ako." Kaya pala palagi niyang buntot si Mang Joe.

"At para may patunayan din kay Dad, and since then di ko na nakausap si daddy, ako sinisisi niya at di ko pa nadadalaw eversince si Mommy." And her tears, naguunahan na bumagsak.

I understand now. Kahit na hindi detalyado, alam kong mahirap i-open sa iba yun maybe some time malalaman ko rin ang buong storya, malalaman ko rin kung bakit may papatunayan siya sa dad niya. Kung bakit siya sinisisi nito. Malalaman ko rin kung bakit sinisisi niya ang sarili niya. It will really take time.

"Shhh, sorry for asking." Hinimas himas ko nalang ang likod niya to comfort her. I know how it feels na mawalan ng magulang, alam na alam ko dahil sabay nawala yung akin.

Niligpit ko na yung mga papeles na tinatrabaho namin kanina at inalalalayan si AA na pumasok sa kwarto niya. She looks fragile right now. And I know what she needs now is someone to lean on.

"I'm sorry Elle. Sobrang hirap lang sakin talaga ng lahat, at first time lang na maopen up yun, Im sorry for breaking down."

"Diba ikaw nagsabi na ang mga umiiyak ay matatapang?" I smiled.

"I know. Come here" She gestured na tumabi ako sakanya and I did. Yumakap siya sakin at di na ako umangal pa. This is what I get for making her cry tonight.

"Goodnight AA."

--
After that night, mas napalapit pa ako kay AA. Half of me understands her now, and knows she really need someone who'll take care of her, who will stay for her.

Paggising namin nun, bumalik na ang dati niyang sigla. Na para bang hindi nangyari ang pagbbreakdown niya that night. I never tried to open the topic till now. I'll be taking it step by step.

May klase ngayon si AA kaya tambay lang ako sa bahay. Nagbbrowse lang ako ng magandang movies sa net to kill time. Wala rin naman akong gustong gawin ngayong araw na to.