Clout Chase ~ Chasing the dream

Different state of mind

Ronnie's POV

It's the first day back home from rehab. I feel so much better, my mental health isn't 10/10 but I'm getting there only time will heal.

As for now I am taking my meds, while seeing a doctor and a psychiatrist every week.

I don't know why I suddenly over reacted, but I always knew there was a part of me that had guilt, depression and full of fear, basically mixed emotions.

Logan and mines situation might have triggered it to be worse, but I was never going to hurt myself. I was doubting myself, I was feeling shame in my fathers death.

But now I don't. Well I still do a little but hopefully in upcoming future I'm happy. Something I haven't been for a long time now even before me and Logan broke up.

I'm scared everyone leaving me, when Ashley started dating Mike I thought it was the end of us. When Logan left me I thought that was it for me and him, me and clout gang, me and LA.

But I need to learn the world doesn't just revolve around them, they shouldn't affect what my career path or who I am as a person. I will be deciding that by myself.

Anyways, I decided to go see my friends and thank them for believing in me, fighting for me when I didn't know how to.

"I just want to say thank you and I love you so much guys. I don't know what kind of mental state I would have been in if you hadn't helped me. My mom would have never opened up to me about Dad, and that pain was driving my life around but now I'm taking control and I want you to know I'm heading for a happier place, a place where I won't cry every two seconds" I say and chuckle as a tear leaves my eye.

"We love you girly" Sommer says

We all get in a group hug.

"So Ronnie umm we know we should trust you and everything, and we do it's just doctors orders that we come and ask if you took your pills you know. I hope you won't be too upset" Alissa says.

I give her a smile, "no not at all, might even remind me" I say

NEXT DAY

Yesterday was amazing I caught up on everything with my friends with a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

"Is it okay if we film, like do you want to be seen on camera or not" Rice asks "totally I'm ready I feel comfortable Rice plus I'm not the same person I was three weeks I'm in a different state of mind" I say to him.

"Even better" he says with a smile.

"Hey Ronnie you want to go shopping with me and James" Alissa asks.

"Always up for shopping" I say as I put my cup of juice down.

"Perfect can you drive or want me to drive" Alissa asks "oh I want to haven't done that in a while" I say excitedly.

I got dressed put on jean shorts,a black belt and a yellow ribbed cami crop top, then some naked Wolfe off white shoes.

Today I decided to dress like every normal teenage girl. I usually add something not everyone would dress in like the naked Wolfe shoes but that's fine.

"Ready Liss" I ask as I knock her bedroom door. "Yup" she says as she walks out.

We get in my car and drive to James's apartment. "Get in loser we are going shopping" I say to him, "excuse me Regina I prefer not be called a loser, call me sister" he says. Making me and Alissa chuckle.