I Can't, I Shouldn't | Johnil

...10

*Warning* Smut💦 Chapter...

~+~

When Johnny opened the door to a figure standing at his doorway he was quite surprised to see that Taeil had come to him, to his house for the first time since he moved here. He was in a black sweatpants, drying his dark hair and shirtless because he just took a bath, looking down at the shorter male. He didn't see the lecturer's face until he stepped into the light and it troubled Johnny.

He was about to ask what's wrong until he was cut off by trembling lips against his, unmoving until Taeil whispered something against his lips and that's when he was positive something was definitely wrong and he dropped the rag drying his hair to the ground.

He gently pushes the older away from his face and pulled him in closing his door. He held Taeil's tear stained cheeks with his hands gently, staring into his eyes where he could see the pain radiating out of the once happy orbs and his own heart throbbed a little at his appearance.

"Taeil talk to me... What's wrong?" Johnny asked carefully, the last thing he wants to do is hurt him more. His lips started to wobble as he pulled it into an uneasy smile, but his eyes says otherwise, tears still flowing.

"Do you like me?" the taller male was taken off guard by the direct question. Taeil sniffled, smile almost faltering as he continues.

"You like me right?" the elder waited for a reply, raising his own hand to place it on Johnny's hand to caress it. He doesn't care if Johnny lied to him right now, all he needed was a yes.

"I-I..."

"Yes or no, that's all I need."

So Johnny told him the truth, staring into his eyes without blinking. "Yes."

And he smiled, genuinely, Taeil smiled.

"Then sleep with me."

"What?" Johnny's eyes widened in disbelief. He would be lying if he said he didn't want to have sex with him, he was virtually successful almost two weeks ago too.

"Taeil.. I don't think you should do this. You are obviously not okay, so-"

"Do you not find me attractive anymore?" Johnny was well aware that he was being manipulated by the Social Science lecturer, but he looked so sad behind that fake smile that he allowed himself to be manipulated. He thought to himself that anything to make him happy right now, he'll do it.

"Of course I do..."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"But Taeil-" the elder held his arms up now holding onto both of the younger's hands that never seized in wiping the tears that fell down his cheeks. He could see the resistance in Johnny's eyes, but he didn't need that now. So with a shaky voice he tried his best to coax the taller male into helping him do something, for once in his life, that he wanted to do but was too faithful and caring to do it. It wasn't how he imagined it, but he didn't care.

"A-all this time, I told myself that I can't.. I shouldn't, because I wanted to do the right thing, so I waited, even though there we temptations." He paused to swallow a sob before he continued.

"But to be honest, I'm fucking tired of doing the 'right' thing. Since I'm always at fault, why not bask in it?" He laughed.

"Liste-"

"Just have sex with me please, I want the pain to go away! Johnny please.." Taeil begged, and he gave in. There was nothing he could do to change his mind. Of course he didn't have to do it, but the pleading look he got from the brunette, proved how much he was hurting. So he leaned in and took Taeil's breathe away by sealing their lips together.