Serendipity - A Fortunate Stroke Of Chance

Chapter 11: Longing

Pairing: Jimin/Chubby Reader | Best Friend!Jungkook | Angst
Warnings: Mention of Violence | Thoughts of Self Harm |
Word Count: 7.2k

A/N: So for the song Jimin and Yoongi sing, I decided to use 'for him.' by Troye Sivan. I know Jimin's voice is a lot higher in pitch, so i picture him singing the song an octave up. its a perfect song in my opinion, and i went ahead and changed some of the lyrics to fit the characters and the story better, but most of it is the same. Please listen to the song before or while you read that part, it makes me smile so much.

(Y/N)'s tweet: https://twitter.com/BangtanGangBang/status/1023839534126182401

Jimin-

Please don't freak out.

By the time you read this I'll probably already be on a plane. I'm so sorry that I'm doing this through a letter but I can't handle hearing your voice or seeing you right now, because I know I won't leave. You will convince me to stay, and I will let you.

But I have to go. I'm taking a break from tour for a while. Management knows. You guys will be okay without me. I need to go home and get well. I can't live like this anymore. I need to get my mental health back on track.

I want you to know how much I love you. I can't even express how much I love you. I don't want to leave, but I need you to try to understand that I have to.

Please don't hate me. I don't know if I can survive this if I lose you too.

All I can say is I'm doing my best. I'm trying.

It is supposed to be midnight there when I land. I hope that you'll call, but I will understand if you don't want to talk to me.

I love you so much. I will always love you. Please just remember that.

I'm so sorry.

-(Y/n)

Jimin continued to stare at the letter. He'd been reading and rereading it over and over for an hour. It was tear stained and smudged, but not from him. The marks on the page were from your tears. He could see your struggle through the page. He saw your will to fight, your desire to get better, and your regret to leave him. Jimin hadn't spoken since he found the letter. He'd stood there at the foot of the bed for twenty minutes, the paper in his hand and silent tears running down his cheeks. He didn't react when Jungkook tried to talk to him, to calm him down. And he remained quiet when Jungkook finally led him out of the hotel and back to the van. The ride to the arena was quiet, Jimin and Jungkook were quiet. Everything was quiet. Except on the inside.

On the inside Jimin was anything but quiet. He was in turmoil. He was feeling so many things at once. Anger. Sadness. Betrayal. Worry and despair. You left. You'd left him. You were flying all the way around the world and you didn't even call. He thought you were a team, that you were supposed to make decisions like this together? There was the overwhelming sadness of knowing that you felt so broken that you had to leave. You were having such a hard time that you chose to fly across the globe alone. But after the initial fear and anger started to subside, Jimin realized why you had gone. He'd been seeing it for weeks, how you'd been struggling. Jimin had tried to be there for you, to let you know you had him, that you could lean on him. But it wasn't enough. And after everything that had happened with Feng the past two days, you couldn't take it anymore. So you left. Jimin knew that if he wasn't in so much pain he would be glad you were taking the steps to get better. Going home and seeing your doctor was the right thing to do. But that didn't mean he wasn't heartbroken. You should've taken him with you.