The Revival of Shadow Link

48:

There was some sort of switch on top of a pillar, way out of reach, but not out of sight.

"Well, Green Bean, you still have your boomerang?" Blue asked, turning to the leader. 

He sighed. "Nope. Lost it; I threw it at an enemy and it didn't come back, it's somewhere in that pyramid."

"What are we going to use to hit that switch?" Red wondered. 

Vio was the closest to the pillar, looking up before he looked down and started backing up from it until his back was against the wall. (I tried to ignore the memory that was just branded in my mind and kept popping up whenever I looked at him thought of him, heard him.) He pulled out his bow, aimed and fired an arrow at the switch.

It started blinking and made a ticking noise like a timer for about thirty seconds before stopping. "There's one over there," I pointed out. "And another...one on each pillar."

Vio looked at the pillars but didn't say a word. After a couple tries, he managed to hit the four standing pillars and four doors magically appeared. He put his bow away and stared at me.

Just stared.

Briar spoke up and that drew his attention away from me. "Are we going to split up or just go through one door at a time?"

Green insisted that everyone stay together--probably because of what happened the last time they split up. 

"In the same room, the Four Sword was mentioned and four doors appeared, not to mention the door frames have your corresponding color, I think you guys are supposed to split up here," Zelda said. 

"Okay, but there are three other people, you guys should go with someone," he said, not even going to argue with the princess (who could blame him?). 

"Shadow can go with me," Vio said.

I didn't argue because I didn't want anyone to ask why--though they probably would know why--and I wanted to speak with Vio as little as possible until I figured everything out, and insisting that I be nowhere near him would make him want to talk to me. Zelda went with Green and Briar went with Blue and for some reason, Red was totally okay with being by himself.

The moment Green was done talking, Vio grabbed my wrist and dragged me with him towards his door. And after a brief moment, we were all alone. 

"What's with you?" He asked.

"What's with you?" I echoed.

"Come on, Shadow, what's wrong?"

"You tell me what's wrong, you freaked me out earlier--you grabbed me by the tunic and begged me to make a promise about something I don't even know about before dropping me and acting like it never happened, what's with that?"

"I don't remember that!"

"Of course you don't. And then you just stare at me! Don't speak a word, and now we're all alone and the first thing you ask me is 'what's with you?'"

"What was with that conversation you had with Zelda. 'I wanted to die,' 'that's what he said,' --Shadow, I'm worried."

"Don't worry about me."

He went silent.

The door lead to a hallway that seemed to go on for a while. It was dark, I noted. We were gonna have to start walking soon.

"I love you," he said. "I don't know what's wrong, or what's gonna happen, but...I love you, Shadow. I love you a lot."

I sighed. "I love you too, Vio, I don't know what's wrong with me, I just..."

"It's okay, everything is gonna be okay, I promise."

I felt the urge to bawl in his chest again. When he wasn't being so cold--or when I wasn't being so stupid--he was always so warm and gentle. 

We started walking and while I didn't feel ready to punch something, my anger hadn't really faded. I couldn't forget about it, I didn't know why, something was wrong, and something he had said was really bothering me.

"So, why were you so upset a couple minutes ago?"

"I was just thinking."

We're going back to this conversation again.

"About what? What was with that conversation with Zelda?"

I groaned. "Basically, she told me that I was good and I was a hero and convinced me to break the mirror in the end." 

"And her bringing that up reminded you of--"

I interrupted him, growing more angry, before I could stop myself. "--that conversation we had in the cell, yeah."

"Nice to know I was right in the end," he said with a smile that I returned even though it really was just a reflection of his...even though I was just a reflection of him. "Maybe you're going to see really soon that you're good too."

"Yeah, I was a hero for you." I just spat out the sentence like it left a bad taste in my mouth.

"Shadow, what's wrong?"

"Have you even considered for a minute that maybe I didn't want to be a hero for you?"

"This isn't about the Dark Mirror! You were a hero before that, just one who did some bad things. I know you didn't do that for anything other than getting rid of Vaati!"

"You don't understand," I snapped. "Maybe I just..."

"Shadow, your--"

"Maybe I didn't want to be a hero for you, Vio, but you never considered that--maybe.." I shouted out the one thing I had trouble admitting, the one thing I hated thinking about. "Maybe I wanted to be a hero with you!"

"But...' that caught him off guard. It caught me off guard too. "Aren't you now?"

"No, Vio, I just...wanted to be with you, and I'm here with you, but I don't feel like I am, you're so...good, and you're always thinking about everyone else and never me, and I can't think about anything but you and me, and had I been in your position, I would have thrown Hyrule, and the others, and Princess Zelda under the bus, because you know what? I wouldn't have given a shit about anyone else if it wasn't for you. And that makes me a horrible person because I was totally okay with all of them dying just so I could have you, and yeah, there were other reasons, but in the end, that's the main reason, and all of you are ignoring that, just like you used to ignore me, and if your ignoring how selfish and stupid I am, then you might as well be ignoring me again." I paused to catch my breath.

"I'm not ignoring all that about you, I'm just noticing all the good and pointing it out because I love the good in you as much as the bad, I love all of you."

"But I'm not good, Vio, that's the point! You don't see anything! I'm not like you!"

I hated the silence that followed my words; it was the silence right after Blue called me a shadow, right after Vio's failed execution, and now it wrapped around us, the silence was suffocating and the tension so thick you could cut it with Vio's stupid Four Sword, in his stupid sheath, just reminding me how stupid I was to fall for a hero of light.

I decided I didn't want the silence to end and went back to the door we had entered, slamming it shut and going back to the circular room with the pillars. 

He did not come after me.

I did not want him to.

He left me behind like I always knew he would to his shadow.