The Revival of Shadow Link

66:

"What was that?" I asked him again.

"Shadow, for the last time," Vio exhaled sharply. "We'll talk about it later when all of this is over."

He wasn't nearly as close to me as before, the two of us were distant enough that I couldn't tell if the shadows on his face were bruises, or if those bruises were just shadows, and he was at such a distance from the others, from Red with his fire rod, that there wasn't much light around him.

At one point, Zelda stopped flirting with Era and went to go check on him, I totally lost track of her in the suffocating darkness that seemed to muffle voices.

But I think after some time she gave up, so she came and talked to me instead.

"What's with you and Vio?" We weren't even that far from him, but he didn't seem to hear us.

I tried to think about how to phrase it. "You know how back when you were..." I realized I had already forgotten her alias. "...not you...and you shot a light arrow we stayed at an inn owned by Erune's mother..."

"...I remember you two shared a bed. And then you moved from that one to the one Red was on. The two of you stared at each other for a minute and then he left the room. Is that what you mean?" She moved some hair out of her face. She was starting to look worse and worse. I thought back to when the Dark Mirror was still in tact and Vio and he others had killed me and I was revived and stuff, she had been just fine and that had been what, three days? But she hadn't been doing anything those three days.

Had she had any food or water though? Wait...

Maybe she's like...some sort of immortal, divine being, I wondered.

"Yeah, well...you know about me and Vio, right? What happened between us?"

"So much has happened, I'm trying to block it all out from memory."

"I can respect that. Basically, he betrayed the others but didn't really betray them, I fell in love with him, he betrayed me, and I tried to kill him, they all killed me for it, I came back via the damn mirror. Anyway, we locked eyes and...I saw a bit of the ordeal from his eyes, his point of view."

"Oh...You might have mentioned something about that. Do you mind going into more detail?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "Um...they were in a boat, I planned a way to make the boat crash, separating the four and Vio ended up in a forest. I watched him wander around and fight monsters for a while, he found stuff out about Ganon and I approached him. ...I think I was in love with him from the start looking back. Most of it was just flirting." I frowned. "Dunno, he knocked Green out, tried to break the Dark Mirror, got caught...I could feel his guilt...

"...we locked eyes and...saw something else. From my point of view. But I have no memory of it actually happening...and it was awful. I was hurting him. A lot."

She nodded. "That sounds awful."

"It was awful. I love him. I wouldn't hurt him. Especially not like I did in that dream, I...I don't want to hurt anyone anymore." I shook my head. "Vio knows something, he just won't talk about it. Probably because of what we saw."

"...I know you wouldn't hurt him, but the whole idea of you not hurting him simply because you love him isn't a good way to think."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, people hurt people they love all the time. Didn't you try to kill him?"

I think she saw me flinch. "That..."

"Did you love him then?"

"Of course I did," I answered. "But I didn't like...it was different."

"I'm sure it was, but it can still be similar and either way, you did hurt him. Near death experiences can be traumatic, you know. And I know he hurt you, but he loved you. Blue loves Red a lot, but he can still hurt him he does all the time and him and Green bicker all the time."

I bit my lip. "So...maybe it's not that different, but...I like...killed other people? I don't even understand it completely myself."

She put her index finger on the corner of her mouth. "If you told me more about this thing and what happened, I might be of more use to you." After my brief silence, she added, "Only what you're willing to share."

I tried to think for a minute. "I think I...We were in our room in the fire temple."

"Wait, you shared a room in the fire temple?"

"Yeah...?"

"Geez, shared a bed too?"

I blushed. "Kind of? A lot of the time."

"Oh. Um, keep going."

"I don't think he wanted to be there, I think I was forcing him to be there and he was covered in blood and..." I looked over and saw that no one was paying any attention to us, so I kept going, feeling guilt for the actions I wasn't sure I committed gnaw at me. "He was begging me not to hurt the other three, because apparently I was going to kill them? And I was getting upset over it because I thought that he cared about them more than me and I wanted him to care about me, so I told him I'd let one of his choosing live." I saw the disgust and horror on her face, but I decided to keep going. If she told me how horrible that was, I probably wouldn't have the courage to keep going. "And I genuinely thought that was okay? And...he didn't choose right away, and I was about to leave and then he decided he wanted me to spare Blue and then I saw them die? I killed them? I..." I remembered all the blood, I remembered watching them die and how I almost enjoyed it. "I stabbed Green a bunch and slit Red's wrists...I killed Green first and he tried to hold me back so I didn't hurt the others...and at one point I threw his hand at Vio? I don't know...it was just bad and..."

"That sounds like an utter nightmare."

I only nodded, glancing at Vio, but he was just a mass of black in the darkness.

"Do you know...why you did that?"

I shook my head. "Vio knows something, but he won't tell me."

"Shadow, he probably just needs a minute, that sounds horrible and considering the fact that he was covered in blood, do you think you hurt him? He probably needs some time to digest it all, I mean...having your lover kill other people and then throw their hand at you is probably somewhat...scary."

"I know you're right, I just..." I didn't even know what to say.

She patted me on the shoulder. I think it was meant to be comforting. I didn't find it comforting.