congratulations || jeongchan

- 6 - Falling -

The door slammed shut.

"I kinda fucked this up didn't I."

I look back at Felix. His cheeks are tinted pink in embarrassment.

"Don't worry." I say in a small voice. "We've broken up anyway."

And the tears start falling again. Down and down and down. Never ending. Cascading down and out and across the floor. Each tear is just more of myself that I'm missing, but I'm numb to the pain of losing now.

But I'm not numb to him. To seeing his eyes. To seeing his tears.

"Hey, Chan hey? It's okay, right? I'll talk to him."
I raise my eyes from the floor, "What's the point? He hates me. I'll just leave."
"You'll just leave? He's outside, you'd have to walk straight past him."

I can't help but sob. Into Felix. Into his arms. I hear the door open. I'm sure it's Jeongin. I can feel him, here, in this room.

But I don't want him to see me like this, I don't want to see him.

Actually that's a lie. All I want in the world is to see him. To see him smile. To see him dancing to music when he thinks no one is looking.

But I can't. Because I can't throw myself upon him when he's trying to move on.

"Sit here. He's in the spare room that Seungmin's staying in at the moment. I'm going to go and talk to him. Come whenever you feel ready but you don't have to m'kay?"

I nod dazedly in Felix's general direction. Innerly thanking him. He seems like a really nice guy, even though super crazy and weird at first.

I feel two hands connect to my side. Hard. Before I know it I'm sprawled on the floor.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Hyunjin is yelling at me. I curl in on myself preparing for the barrage of kicks that come alongside being yelled at.

"Hyunjin. What are you doing?"

Seungmin's voice. I look up and he's standing between me and Hyunjin. So is Minho.

"Do you know how much he's hurt Jeongin. And now, again." His eyes slide to me, "I just need to make sure he's not going to mess with Jeongin's feelings again."

"Chan has a right to move on Hyunjin. Jeongin was the one who said they should break up in the first place."

The anger in Hyunjin's eyes was dying. He doesn't want to hurt me really, we used to be friends after all.

I get up from the floor to stand behind Seungmin, "What are you even doing here Hyunjin?"

He looks at me with tired eyes, "I just want things to be like they were before. So does Jeongin."

He... he still wants to be with me?

Even though I was already forgetting about the whole incident, Minho wasn't going to forgive so easily.

"No."

Even Seungmin turns to him with confused eyes.

"Why would Chan want to be with someone who broke his heart already. Someone who has a friend who can't use words properly so resorted to violence to expend his anger. Why would Chan want to be with someone who could quite possible be, once again messing with his feelings? And it's his birthday you inconsiderate twat!"

"Chan can speak for-"

"I told you he would have moved on Hyunjin." Jeongin's small voice emanated from the doorway of Seungmin's room.