Right here ~Minishaw~

Chapter 33

Harry's POV

I feel my mom hugging me, even if I had just screamed at her that Simon had been my boyfriend, this had not been the way I wanted to tell her that I am gay, but my boyfriend just died and I don't know if I can make it through it, I don't even know what hurts the most right now. 

"just breath sweetheart" she tells me calmly, but I just don't want to, I just start crying even harder, the nurse gives me something to help me sleep, I just bought myself an extra night at the hospital. 

"just try to sleep darling" 

"I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP, I WANT SIMON" I scream at my mom and the nurse that is there, they are trying to help, I know they are, but I just don't want to believe that this actually happened, he can't be dead, he would not leave me, 

"I know"

"I don't want this, I don't want to be here without him" I cry 

"It will get better darling, we are all here for you, me, your dad, Rosie and Josh, and then your friends, we are all here"

"Simon's not here mom, I need Simon to be here"

"I know"

"he would not be dead if it was not for me, It's my fault, he ran of to find me"

"it's not your fault darling"

"it is, my boyfriend is dead because of me" I cry

"just try to sleep darling, you will feel better"

"I don't want to" I whisper to her, "I keep seeing the moment he died, I don't want to see it again, he blames me" I say as I try to shake my mother off me, she is trying to calm me down and get me to go to sleep, I don't want to sleep

"just breath in and out baby, try to relax, we all know you are hurting"

"my heart is the only thing hurting" I say, but everyone in there knows that is a lie, I've been in so much pain since the accident, I had bruises everywhere and I was broken, it had been hurting me a lot.

"darling, you are going to be OK, it's going to be hard, but you are going to be OK" my mom tells me, she wont let me go, she holds me tight and as I can't really move without everything hurting I stop struggling and fall into her chest as she just holds me and I cry, I just cry until the drugs kick in and I can feel myself getting tired, my eyelids getting heavy and then I've fallen asleep in my mothers arms, 

"I love you, just try to sleep" my mother tells me as I close my eyes, but I just see Simon, and not a happy Simon, I see a broken and battered Simon who is about to die, again, and again and again. I will never stop seeing him die, reliving the heartbreak over and over again. 

I'm gonna finish off this story, gonna wrap it up in like 4-5 chapters.