Born into the lap of luxury and a time of turmoil, Duchesse Eleonore Vigneron experiences her coming of age in the Court of Louis XVI . Embroiled in the chaos that surrounds Versailles, Eleni uses her unique blend of wit, charm, and beauty to ensure...
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"Death is the veil which those who live call life; they sleep, and it is lifted." - Percy Bysse Shelley
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29 Septembre 1803 Roma, Italie
Dearest Journal-Friend,
It is strange how the things that begin with the most hope and promise instead turn into nightmares, while those that remind you of what you thought you could not endure are a sort of salvation.
Marital bliss is not anything what I thought it might be. It certainly is not as it was with Romano , and no one ever lays a finger upon me if I do not wish it. However, when Antonio asked me if I might learn to love him of my own free will, it gave me hope that being what I am might afford me freedoms human women are too often denied. I began to think I had entered a world in which men and women were appreciated for skill and merit, not upon gender or the size of one's physical exterior.
After all, Death equalises us all a bit in that regard. The person in charge of a clan of Vampires is known as a Prince. Yet, there are times the Prince is a woman. It made me wish to cry, knowing there is a way of life that involves equality and no one cares a bit if I marry. I certainly am of no use for bearing anyone any sons.
Despite that, we live within a world that does not share the same values. Despite all the warring and death and loss, so much of society is the same as it has always been. I thought Antonio might be different, and in private he is very much encouraging of long discussions and thought and intellect. I think he loves me more for my mind than my body, something that has never happened before.
Yet when we are in public, he is a different person. He is severe and pious, reprimands me when I speak and shows me off as if I am a trophy. When I am pleasing, he pats my head, and says, "There's my pretty little wife". I feel as if I am a kept pet, although he often offers me a gift. It is a transparently cheap way to placate me.
I do, though, adore gifts.
Antonio has explained that in public, nothing has changed from before I changed. It is called living under the veil. It means taking extra precautions so the world cannot see the truths right in front of it, because truth often ends in death. Lies end in death, truth ends in death. I only wanted to be free and I thought I might.
