Becoming Were

Chapter 19

~Allison's POV~

Madness. Complete and utter madness. 

At the news of Alpha Brad's death, the pack is in chaos. His funeral occurred the same day we found him, everyone in the pack turned out to honor him. Now, walking through the halls, the sight you will mostly see are Weres crying, sobbing, or praying. The adults have to explain the catastrophe to their children who cry as hard as if their own parent had died. Luna Maria is hysterical, and making matters worse, no word is out on whether Carson is in the same position as his father. 

"Luna, I have some tea for you." I say as I knock on Maria's door softly. What I see when I enter her room is the definition of grief. Maria's once lively brown hair is now dull, her once bright eyes are lifeless. She is curled up in a ball in the middle of a bed that looks much too big compared to her small shape. 

"Thank you," She barely whispers. If it wasn't for my enhanced hearing, I'm positive I wouldn't have been able to make it out. 

Making my way towards her side, I put the tea on her side table. After a small internal battle, I sit down at her side, making her lean towards my weight. I half expect her to freak out at me, Alpha and Luna's are by nature, territorial. Having just invaded her personal space, she should have given some notion of the action. Maybe a flare of her eye, a muscle tensing, but all I receive is her lackluster gaze upon mine. 

After a few moments filled with deafening silence, Luna Maria reaches her hand out to grip mine. I feel my eyes widen and I glance down at our intertwined fingers. It's been a little over a week since Alpha Brad has been murdered and it has taken its toll. She looks much older than she should. I feel like I shouldn't say anything, only give her this moment, but my big mouth has other plans.

"I'm sorry for your loss." They say this one little phrase is the one that is most acceptable when someone loses another. I highly disagree. I know from experience that this phrase can be someone's undoing, a person can hold all their grief in, bury into their very soul. Pretend that nothing has changed, and everything is normal. However, once this phrase is uttered, it's like reality slaps you in the face. It only confirms your worst nightmare, because once you accept the reality, there's no going back. 

This, of course, is why I flinch and mentally slap myself, not expecting any other reaction from what I receive. Maria bursts into a sob. I expect her to pull her hand away, scream at me, maybe even physically hurt me, but she only tightens her hold on my hand. Not painfully, just enough to remind her that I'm here.

"Look, I don't know how you're feeling at the moment, and I can't pretend like I do." Luna Maria doesn't look at me, but nods lightly to let me know she heard. "But, I do know that if Alpha Brad could be here right now, he wouldn't want his beautiful mate to act this way. You are not the only one who is greatly distressing over Alpha's death. We have pack members who are suffering with you, we are all very vulnerable right now. If you were Dux, don't you think now would be the ideal time to strike? Rip open the wound that we are only infecting with our grief." Luna Maria looks up at me, her eyes focused, her hand still holding mine. "We need to live how Alpha Brad would want us to. He would want us to honor and redeem his memory, to not waste any time in bringing Dux down. As Luna, you have had a little while for grieving, as have the rest of the pack, now it is your job to go and fix the pack. Show them that their Luna isn't going to sit back while they sink deeper into oblivion." 

By this point, Luna Maria is sitting up next me. I literally cannot believe I said that to her, it was like word vomit. I know it wasn't the traitor that was controlling me like last time, as I thought out every word before uttering it. I can't meet her eyes, afraid of what she will think of me.