Trade Mistakes - Prinxiety [COMPLETED]

Chapter X

Roman sighed as he looked out the window of his taxi. The sky above New York City was grey and unpleasant looking, but coming from Florida, it was familiar. The actor had been asked for specifically to play the role of Fiyero on Broadway after making a name for himself in the touring production of Wicked and several other big name shows that came through.

He thought he felt excited; no, he knew he was excited. Playing your dream role on Broadway is something you had to be excited about, regardless of your state of mind. Roman knew that, and he would be. There was just something troubling him at the moment.

The familiar voice of the boy he lost drifted to his ears from the taxi radio. "Ugh, I've heard this guy way too much, he's good man, really good, but goddamn I'm sick of hearing this song all the time," the driver grumbled, reaching to switch the station.

"No wait!" he gasped, making the man behind the wheel stare at him through the rear view mirror in surprise given he hadn't spoken the entire drive so far. He took a deep breath as Virgil's voice caused goosebumps to run up his spine. "Just... leave it on please?"

The driver looked at him peculiarly but nodded, shrugging as he dropped his hand back on the wheel. "You a fan of his then?"

"I guess you could say that..." Roman replied sadly. "I kinda knew him, in high school."

The man gave him a surprised look, raising his eyebrow at him. "You don't seem to happy about that," he pointed out observationally. The actor sighed again, looking down as he shrugged a little. "What happened?"

"Well, it's personal, I don't think he'd appreciate me sharing it," he explained. "Nothing against you, it's just something we agreed should stay between us. If I hadn't told you I knew him, I'd talk about it and leave out his name but you already know, so I don't think he'd like that."

The man nodded understandingly and they fell silent, Virgil's melodious voice filling the car in the place of their own. Roman felt his eyes slip closed as he let himself get lost in the music. He could see him singing, eyes closed as he focused on getting the notes just right. He'd seen him perform on YouTube and on TV appearances, but had yet to submit to the urge of seeing him live. Given his attempts to contact him had failed over the past two years, he figured that the singer didn't want to see him.

By the time the taxi pulled up to his new apartment building, it had begun to rain. "Thanks for the ride," the actor said with as smile as he paid him with a generous tip. The driver thanked him in return as he got his bags out before driving off. Roman didn't mind as the water soaked into his skin; it reminded him of that darkly dressed boy he'd known once. With another sigh, he made his way into his apartment, his new home for who knew how long.

The apartment wasn't too small, and thankfully seemed like a comfortable place to stay. It put his mind more at ease to know that he wouldn't be living in a cage for the next year or so. It only took him about an hour to unpack his very limited luggage; he'd intentionally only brought what he felt was essential for building his new life around his career. Once finished, he collapsed on his couch with a tired sigh and turned on the television. Flipping through the channels, he gradually grew bored and just let some award show play out as his eyes slipped closed. 

"And performing their hit song Misunderstandings, Anxious Storms, Malicious Roses!" the announcer said, getting Roman's attention. 

He sat up, watching with a racing heart as the camera panned to the boy that he'd lost. He was in his typical costume, makeup consisting of a shattered heart with the halves on either side. The thing about it that caught his eye was the gold that lined one of the halves. It glittered under the lights of the stage. As the song started, the actor paid special attention to the lyrics, feeling his heart in his chest. It sounded like it could be about... them, as in what they had. Virgil was singing about fears and feelings that he wasn't brave enough to act on, kisses that lacked real meaning, and the pain that faded over time. Roman swallowed nervously, unable to react. 

The singer's voice gave him chills, and the way his eyes remained mostly closed as he sang told him that he was lost in his thoughts. The few times that he did open them there was a shimmer to them, as if they were glistening with past tears that he refused to let fall even now. 

"Virgil..." he breathed as the song ended and the band left the stage. As if by instinct, the actor reached into his pocket and drew out his phone. He fidgeted with it as he contemplated the idea of texting him. Roman stared at the months of one sided messages in their chat, dating back to the week he'd left him. He didn't think he could bring himself to try to text him again when odds were he wouldn't respond. Maybe he was comfortable enough to write about their little affair, but that was in song, where lyrics could mean anything to listeners that have no context. Music was free therapy, even as a mere actor, he knew that. Just because Virgil was writing songs about what they had didn't imply or mean that he wanted what they had back. "I wish you did... I miss you, Virgil, I really do..."

He sighed again, tossing the phone down on the couch beside him as he looked up at the ceiling. God, I have to let go, he thought to himself. If he wants to talk to you, he will. If he wants to see you, he'll come and find you. I can't keep making this my entire life's focus. I've got to live out my dreams, even if one of them doesn't come true.