13.) One Step Forward, Twelve Steps Back

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I once convinced someone I care most about that emotions were worth the trouble. You know who you are.
I'm such a hypocrite. A liar. Emotions are nothing but trouble and a waste of energy.

At the time, I meant it when I said emotions are a good thing. Bad times only emphasize the good times, right?

Wrong.

The cage is back.

Reinforced.

Air-tight.

Unbreakable.

It's just safer that way. It's safer for me and everyone around me.

Apparently, whenever I start to feel emotion, it either hurts people, annoys people, or gives people a reason to completely ignore my existence as a whole. I can't do it anymore. I can't keep climbing up a sandy slope without any help or acknowledgement.

I can't even remember what's outside of the slope anymore. I can't remember what happiness is. I don't recall what home feels like.

So, why not? No one cares that I'm trying. Why would anyone care if I gave up? If I walked around completely quiet and emotionless?

"I'm just tired," I'll say. Everyone believes that. It's true, too.

I'm just tired.

~~~~

Be true, stay you ❤❤

~Day Dreamer~

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