Jokes and Quotes; So You Can Laugh Your A** Off

74.

An airplave wasabout to crash; there were 5 passengers onboard, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die!" So he took the first parachute and jumped out. 

The second passenger, Julia Gilliard, said, "I am the prime minister of Australia and I am the smartest woman in Australian history, so Australia's people don't want me to die." She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane. 

THe third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I am a Senator, and a decorated war hero from the Army of the United States of America." So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped.

The fourth passenger, ex-president George W. Bush, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year old school girl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrafice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr President. There's a parachute left for you. Australia's smartest woman took my school bag!"

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LOL!