Poems on a dark night 🖤

Darkness.

1.It consumes me and swallows me hole, refuses to spit me out.
2.Its not worth fighting the feeling; I try so hard to keep you away that I attract you like a magnet.
3.Others try to understand but there's personal variations.
4.I constantly feel you, sense your presence but 'friends' will get tired of me attempting to describe it for the feeling is so foreign that this act is simply impossible.
5.Stop telling me I'm not good enough, I am a perfectionist at my core but this is starting to become a chore.
6.As you can tell you anger me sometimes.
7.You motivate me.
8.I am clearly motivated by fear.
9.I try so hard to keep you away.
10.You keep coming back.
11.Please stop, don't I deserve to be happy?
12. I am scared that you will never leave, screw that, I'm terrified. Sick to my stomach with fear.
13. Pitch black I can only see one way out.
14.My future doesn't look good.
15.I am scared my darkness will drag you away.
16.I am aware that I look happy on the surface.
17.I found ways to scream that I am suffering on the outside.
18.Suffering internally yet I must show it externally.
19.I have been acting like I am happy for so long that I have became numb.
20. I call this a persona
21. I have no metaphors or words to describe how bad this feeling is. I feel helpless, hopeless, sad, scared, tortured by my own mind. I feel all this so how at the same time can I be so numb.
22. I have four letters....
23. Help! I will try to scream! Try to run and fight! But I have lost all motivation and purpose!
24. I am losing this fight.
25. Darkness one, my body and mind zero.
26. If I can't stop now I will be too far gone.
27. I will lose my will to live.
28. I will lose my life.
28. Hang on, that's already gone. For what is a quality life if you can't even muster up enough courage to attempt a small, obviously fake smile