Poems on a dark night 🖤

Why mummy?.

I used to never think of writing things for I will remember them 'till I'm old and grey
But now my memory's fading but everything I ever thought has become clear lately
Taxes, stress, no money
Taxes, stress, why mummy?
Why can't I just be happy?
Why do the kids smile to my face then laugh behind my back?
I would never understand a kid so mean to be so popular?
The good die young, a saying from a source unknown
The good die young something only I know.
For when I was young I was suicidal and didn't appreciate life
Now all my friends have gone away I'm scared to once again make friends with the knife.

I dedicate my life to a cause to give it meaning over and over
For the daily routine is enough to kill your spirit 1000 times over
No matter if it's Christmas or another average day
Nothing you ever do could help you escape the truth today
You say you've failed every time she looks into your eyes
You see a pain behind her eyes the same one you too tried to hide

But where did that get you, living life alone?
Going through the motions everyone thought a happy person shows
Your secrets were hidden wether they were silent tears or angry red lines
And now your paranoid clouds your vision and gives you your daily dose of denial
Your child isn't smiling, she's wearing long sleeves
You broke the promises you made before her eyes were even open and the world was seen through her lens
You said 'she'll never be as unhappy as me'
But your the strongest person I know and maybe this dark cloud was something that I need
To help me keep on going when everyone I love is gone
I'm crying on your grave mumma, I know you were unhappy, every smile shown a battle thought
And know I'm old just like you were once
And I realise life is beautiful and you are strong for walking in life's clothes for so long.