Poems on a dark night 🖤

Sour taste.

I will stumble across a page one day and the words will flow out of my pen, controlling me.
Except my thoughts consume me, I envy those wearing a smile proudly on their face for that was once me.
My mind takes off and lands airplanes, these are extreme highs and lows
But sometimes I just have to remind myself that what comes up must come down and sometimes the flight is delayed before it gets back up again
So when I say I used to be happier, I remind myself the next flight will reach a peak again and when I say I used to be depressed it scares me how easily I could slip back into that mindset
So don't get lost in my mediocre metaphors for I am using them to hide behind fear as I know full-well that my emotions can take complete control of me and put me into a trace state.
Obsessive thoughts about certain things, I have not been good to myself but my mind and body have still forgiven me
My blood has not ran out yet.
I must forgive myself and accept that I have came out of this a stronger person  who had to go through shit to stop taking an emotion, happiness, for granted again as. I was dearly punished for my biggest regret but I live to tell the tale.
And when I see a close one struggle, it pains me as my empathetic eyes can feel their pain, I see how every person tries to hide their 'weakness' and 'flaws' in unique ways, acting to perfection but masking their emotions means masking good things about themselves.
I realise that if I do not help them then I will be left with a sour taste and heart and although I risk a relapse into the dark jungle vines inside my mind, it's a risk I must take for when we overcome, both of our happiness levels will surely increase.