Poison Tree

Insomnia

I stood in his room, paranoid and disoriented. Why was I in his room I'm assuming you asked? Because of his smell. For some reason, it calmed me. And I needed calm, especially with the memories that were beating down my mental barriers.
Just grab a shirt or two and go for fucks sake.
"But what if he just so happens to come back and see me standing in the middle of his room?" I asked aloud.
So get a move on so that doesn't happen!
"Easy for you to say." I grumbled before crawling to the window and very stealthily peaking out to see if I saw anything. I exhaled and crawled back to the dresser, standing and wincing as my knees popped.
"C'mon Tsar, it's nothing but a shirt. He isn't even here, just get one and go!" I took a deep breath and flung the dresser drawer open, quickly grabbing a handful of shirts. I slammed it back, my heart thumping against my ribs and went strait to my room, slamming the door. I grabbed a random shirt and tossed the rest on the bed before dragging myself to the shower. I turned the water as far towards got as it would let me and peeled off my clothes and grabbing a rag. As I stepped into the shower, my body instantly relaxed with the heat and steam massaging my skin. I sighed in content, debating on wether or not to wash my hair. I growled before letting the water run through my scalp, watching as my hair fell around my face. I closed my eyes before sinking down to the cold tile of the shower, no longer able to stop the memories.
*Flashback*
He stood in the threshold of my room, a huge bottle of tequila in one hand and an old lollipop in his other. I scooter to the corner of the bed, wrapping the covers around me like they would protect me.
"Now who's a good girl?" He burped out, voice slurred. My eyes went wide in horror as I tried to once again scoot back, only to be blocked by the wall. He took a wobbly step forward, chuckling to himself.
"D-daddy please no." I said, tears streaming down my face. He smiled, sitting on the edge of my bed.
"Call me that again, princess." He slurred, throwing the bottle back once again. It made him extremely happy when I called him daddy, and I hated it. When he didn't get a response, he growled before snatching my hair and pulling me into his lap. I screamed, but it was cut short by his hard hand as he slapped me, covering my mouth with his hand.
"We don't want to wake mommy up now do we?" He said, tossing me back on the bed. The tears blurred my vision as they became heavier with the realization that he wouldn't pass out this time before he could touch me like he did those other times. This would be the time where he actually went through with it. I shook my head when he started to undo his pants, a scream slipping from my mouth. He glared at me angrily before charging at me, slapping me yet again. It was about to met with another until the door opened, the lady I was supposed to call mom coming through, looking at the scene before her. I cried and ran to her, taking shelter behind her as she yelled at the man, before putting him out. In that moment, hope filled my veins instead of blood. Hope allowed me to see, instead of my eyes. In that moment, I almost smiled. Almost. The lady stood tensely in my room, silent. I opened my mouth to thank her, but she surprised me instead with a kick to my stomach, throwing me to the floor. I held my stomach, looking at her in shock and terror.
"YOU RUINED MY RELATIONSHIP! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!" She screamed, pacing the room with her hands in her hair. I wanted to scream, but it seemed that even my voice abandoned me. "GET YOUR SHIT, IM TAKING YOU BACK TO THAT FUCKING HOME YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT!" She grabbed my arm roughly, grabbing my few possessions and dragging me to the car all the while still crying. She didn't even get out of the car when we pulled back up to the adoption agency. She just kicked me and my things out before pulling off into the night. I picked up my stuff and was getting ready to go into the home, when something stopped me. I knew that if I went back in there, I would just be put back into a repeat situation. So I grabbed my things, shoving them into the little book bag I had. That was when thirteen year old me walked down the street, my veins filled with hatred, my eyes blinded with rage. A smile painted on my face by the brush of anger.
     *End of flashback*
     My eyes snapped open, that same feeling of rage coursing through my veins. Making the hot water feel cold against my skin. I gritted my teeth, wiping my face and hurriedly washing my body and hair. I turned the tap off and hopped out of the shower, quickly drying my self. I leaned against the counter catching my breath. When my breathing was back even, I wiped the fog from the mirror, smiling to myself. I wasn't the same girl. No, I was different. I learned that not all people were the same. I smiled at the memories of Sevy and the girls who took me under their wings when I showed up dripping wet in their town. They taught me many things, the main thing being how to survive on my own. I braided my hair into a sloppy single braid, throwing it over my shoulder so that I could brush my teeth. After I was done brushing my teeth, I looked around for underwear, cursing when I didn't find any. I threw on the huge shirt, cursing myself for being tall. The plain black shirt covered all the necessities, but if I raised my hands or stretched, I'd be exposed. It also showed off plenty of legs. I held it down as I went into the room, opening many drawers before I could scream when I finally came across some undies. They fit perfectly, and I knew that he had to have went back to my apartment to get my sizes. I walked to the closet and opened it, not surprised To see it stocked with everything, pajamas included. I frowned, trying to think of what I was gonna tell Giovoni when he asked why I had his shirt.
     He won't complain.
     "Oh yeah? How'd you figure?" I rolled my eyes before climbing into the bed, muscles relaxing at the softness. I pulled the thick blankets Back before climbing into the softness of the bed. I put my nose in the shirt, his scent making me dizzy. Sleep found me easily for the first time in a long time, and I was easily coaxed into the darkness.