N.S. [narry au]

letter

Harry,

I can't even begin to explain the immense guilt I'm feeling. Well, obviously I can because here it is in a long wondrous letter. It's been bugging me ever since the day I laid my eyes on you. I knew it would come up and earlier today it did.

Harry, I can't talk.

We can't be a normal couple.

Normal couples talk to each other and socialise and whisper into each other's ears all cutely...

I can't do that. I'm not able to talk to you or whisper in your ear, or even tell you that I love you so so so much.

I feel horrible because of it all, really. I know you want to hear my voice I know it. But knowing that I can't give that to you kills me Harry. I want to give you the world but the world won't listen to me. I won't be able to say anything they can listen to anyway. It sucks Harry. It fucking sucks. Not being able to talk is the worst gift--not even, a curse--that has been bestowed onto me. I won't be able to say hello or goodbye, and the only way I can say the things I want to say is through paper. And that's stupid. Because it isn't the same Harry.

It hurts so much and I know you want to hear those words but to be completely and utterly honest I have a sick feeling you're going to leave me.

That's why it sucks.

I've been holding on too tight with nothing in between to balance it out. That's why it's going to hurt like hell when you finally get tired of the boy who can't talk.

-Niall