Diary of a Peach

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 16

Day 16 - A song that has made you cry

I had a few songs in mind for this, but anyone who knows me knows the obvious answer.

This Is Not The End - Aviators

If you ever want to have a real good cry, or ever just need that perfectly depressing song well here you go.

TINTE is written about the story of a brother struggling to let go of his sister dying of cancer.

And holy crap. Its beautiful, Its heartbreaking, its relatable.

When I say I cry listening to this song, its not a joke. Theres a reason I very rarely listen to this song, and have it on few playlists. Its an amazing song, but I just cannot make it through this song without tears forcing their way out, especially after the last verse.

If I'm being honest, the main reason this song hurts me so much is my fear of losing those close to me. Wether its through illness or something sudden and uncontrollable, I find myself anxious a lot about losing the people I love. I honestly don't think I could ever move on or be okay were I to lose someone really close to me too soon. I can't imagine losing my sister. I've tried thinking about this song in the context of "What if I lost my sister".

Bad idea.

A terrible thought, and it's unfortunately led to nightmares of losing her too. Bad ones.

I love my sister so much. She is one of the most important people in my life, and by far one of the ones who love and care about me the most. I don't know how I could live without her, and I don't know who I'd be without her. She spent her teenage years taking care of me, especially after my birth because my mom couldn't. My sister practically raised me my first few years, and up until she graduated and left. Even after that, she was always spoiling me, always teaching me, making me a better person, and being her usual annoying sisterly self.

While its hard to listen to a song like this when I have such an important and strong bond with my sister, its songs like these that also make me thankful that this is something I haven't had to experience yet (and hopefully God wont let me have to experience this for a long time). I have had just about 18 great years with my sister, and I am thankful for every moment she's been in my life!

And even when I do lose her (again, I pray that isn't for a very long time), this song does have great spiritual truth to it. Both my sister and I are saved and its the truth that even once she, or anyone else I love that is saved, leaves this world... it won't be the end. Because we still have an eternity together one day.