Glass Hearts (An Austin Carlile Story)

Let Love Consume You

It would be super lovely if I could get some feedback. Let me know what you thinks (:

We stood in the entrance way to the hospital, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Austin took my hand and squeezed it. "It's okay to be okay, Aumi."

I nodded and walked in the building towards the front desk. "Hi can I help you," the small woman behind the desk asked flashing me a smile.

"I'm here to see my dad, Brandon Grey. Could you tell me what room he's in?"

"Brandon Grey..." she repeated going through her computer. "He's in room 215, you're just going to go up to the third level and take a right once you get out of the elevator and you'll find the room."

I thanked her and proceeded in the right direction. I stopped in front of room 215. My dad's name was written on the door in erasable marker. I sighed and quickly trend around, putting my head in my hands. "I can't fucking do this."

Austin pulled me into his chest and stroked my hair. "You've got this Autumn. You can do this. You need this."

I stared up at the man I loved. "You're right."

"I'll wait outside baby," he said stroking my cheek and planted a soft kiss on my forehead. "I'll be right here if you need me."

I nodded my head and took another deep breath before opening the door. It stunk of hospital and it just reminded me of the time I spent in and out with my mother.

"You came," I heard my dad say in a forced whisper.

"Yeah, I came." I pulled a chair from the corner of the room up to the side of his bed.

"I'm so glad you came Autumn...."

I felt tears begging to spill out of my eyes. I hadn't seen my dad in five years. He was healthy and fit and now he's lying here rotting in a hospital bed. He deserves it, I know he deserves it, but it still pains me so much to see him this way. "Daddy... why did you do it?"

"Why did I do what baby?"

"Why did you cheat on her? Why did you lie to her? Why did you make her hate herself so much that she would take her own life?" I began to sob.

"Baby please don't cry. I know I did some fucked up things to you and your mom. I was so stupid. These past five years have made me realize that. I called you so many times to apologize but you never answered. I tried to write but I never got anything back."

"Because I've hated you for so long... I was sixteen dad. I was sixteen and I watched my mother put a gun to her head and pull the trigger, and it was all because of you."

"Autumn..." I saw tears slip down my dad's cheek. "I am so sorry. You never should have had to see that. You never should have had to hear or see half of the shit you did. I'm dying. I did this to myself. I know I deserve every bit of pain I am in. I refuse all the morphine they have tried to give me. I want to feel the pain." He let out a labored breath and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "I do love you, Autumn. I know you will never forgive me and that's what hurts the most. I am so sorry. I couldn't say it enough."

I nodded and began to cry harder. I felt a shaky hand on my cheek and I leaned into it. "I love you too dad."

I got up and hugged his weak body. He hugged me back and began to sob. "How can you still love me after all that I have done to you and your mother?"

"You're my dad and although I fucking hate you, I still can't help but love you." I pulled out of his arms and sat back on the chair.

He sighed and looked at me. "Did you come here alone? I don't want you to be alone."