Love Only Happens Once

Chapter 20

Haley

The moon is absolutely beautiful at this time of night. Compared to the night we were having this was way more peaceful for me. I turned my head towards the sky where the stars and the moon were illuminating. Taking a deep breath in and out while at the same time inhaling Jeremy's scent because of how close he was. Jeremy sighed and wrapped his arms around me. I could feel the frustration rolling off of him in waves. Grabbing his hands I leaned back into him and relaxed my back into his chest.

"Jeremy" I whispered. He kissed my neck and responded, "yeah".

"Are you okay?" I asked. I know it is a stupid question to ask but it was really the only thing I could think of at the moment.

"I should be asking you that" he answered. Chuckling in response, "Tonight was crazy huh? Honestly though, it could be adrenaline right now but knowing that you are with me in this very moment...I feel more at ease than ever." Taking a pause I continued, "Madeline doesn't frighten me. Would it be nice for your parents to like me? yes but we can always have what we want. Who knows maybe it will take some time and they will end up liking me"

"I don't care if they like you. I like you and that all that matters. you would think that over time they would become better parents. I know that they were never good parents but should practice make perfect?" he sighed "You went had 4 kids and failed 4 times emotionally, physically, and mentally. It doesn't make sense but it is what happened. I just remember growing up and never having them around. Just a constant train of nannies who were never my mom or my dad. As a child you can care less about money. You're not even one hundred percent sure about what that means at the time. You just know that you want your parents to say "great job!" or "We love you!" or "aren't you a good boy". After a certain age you start accept that they will never give you that and that you only have one job to follow what THEY say and only what THEY say." A bitter chuckled left his lips as he ran his hands through his hair.

Sadness flowed through me as I heard him describe his childhood. It wasn't right and no child should have ever felt so lonely and unwanted. You should not have to steel yourself against your parents. They should be your safe place not an illusion of it. I know how he feels better than anyone. The only difference between the two of us is that he knew who his parents were from the start. They did not bother trying to hide it the way my mom and my sister did. So I understood where his pain was coming from. The need for recognition and love. Just knowing that your family could be your supporting rock and I understood the crashing and debilitating pain that hit you like a cobra aiming at its target. You realized they would never be able to be that. Learning that you were birthed by the most selfish people in the world that could care less about how you feel because it has always been about them. Recognizing this feeling, I wrapped my arms around him as I tight as I can whispering "I'm here" repeatedly.

"I get it and I'm here" I whispered."We're more alike than I could have ever imagined." I said to him. The way he opened up to me... it made me want to open myself up and talk about the forbidden. I patted the open area on the rock next to me so he can settle down properly. He opened his arms and I leaned back into him so that we were in a more comfortable positions. So he could also see the same beautiful sky that I'm seeing. I grabbed his hands and looked up mesmerized.

"My mom and sister had always been loving at least that was what I thought. I didn't really find out the truth until I got older. I was told my dad was dead and we were the only family we had. unfortunately, my mom is really my biological mom no matter how much I wish she wasn't." I gave a half-hearted smile as I looked up at Jeremy. He laid his head in my neck as he encouraged me to keep talking. His intense grey eyes focused entirely on me and the story I'm finally willing to share. "Sasha knew my mom and she was there from the very beginning. She was at the time naive just like me. Oblivious to everything but she found out about everything before me. She wasn't as fierce as she is now. everything that happened was the reason for our falling out until I was able to forgive her."