Love Only Happens Once

Chapter 10

Haley

I know what you're thinking....I should be mad at the world. I should be ashamed of myself. So should he...but then so should I. Think of everything in his shoes. You're this rich kid and everybody thinks the world is like a platter in your hand. That doesn't mean you necessarily think so. You might smile and act the stereotype because that's the only way you know how to get through all the hurt, pain and the day. I mean for some not everything is as peachy as it seems. Then I've come to realize that I'm a hypocrite. I say all these things like how all these girls are so cliche and they're all over him and watch his every move. Then I practically call him dumb and accuse him of being just a pretty boy. Isn't me watching his move to criticize the same as what the other girls are doing even if I'm not drooling. I claim that his life is irrelevant yet I know every little thing he does. Then I say I give my trust to people who prove that they're worth it yet I didn't even give him a chance to prove it. I'm irrational and mean at times...I guess many thought it would only be a phase but it isn't and I'm not very proud it. I guess when you go through things in life you find everyone else to be the villian and the enemy....but you never really figure out how to let these habits go. Whether its being abandoned then getting into a relationship where you think it's going to be the best time of your life to finally realizing your life and everything you worked for is going down the drain and then realizing you have this best friend who means the world to you and then one social status change and all of sudden you aren't worth the energy you start feeling like trusting and caring for everyone isn't all it is cracked up to be and you start to understand why the person who abandoned you did it in the first place. However, in the end you just wished you didn't understand it all because now its playing with your mind and your emotions because now everyone has motive and everyones life isn't as bad compared to yours. So the only thing you have left is to judge them because that's the only thing that would make you feel better and sometimes that's the only thing to help feel as though you're not the only one but that you're also not alone. IDK I guess I can sit around and name a million reasons why I am the way I am but then that would only mean they still control my life. That isn't what I want I don't want to be miserable just because I couldn't let my past go. Now I'm not saying that I can work miracles but just maybe I can hold it off long enough to make a friend.

Monday Morning 7:30 a.m.
"Sasha! Wake up wake up" I yelled exasperated. After sitting around all weekend we finally had come up with the perfect plan for me. I know what you're thinking I was going to say the perfect plan everyone follows where they go all out and do an extravagant apology...NO...that's not me at all. my plan is Simple. Sweet. and to the point. 😎😎😏

"Haley...I believe in you and that you can do this on your own." she replied sleepily.

"What do you mean I can do this is on my own! Do you not remember who you're talking to??? No se puede mama ....and don't you have class today anyway around the same time I do" I sighed.

"Yeah yeah when do I actually ever go to class?" She asked while raising an eyebrow. She had a point there but I still needed her by my side because leave up it to me and I would tell myself I'll get over it.

"Pwease Pwease...you promised and you know how I feel about promises" I said trying to guilt her.

"Fine Fine but you owe me big time" she grumbled. I smiled cheekily and thanked her over and over again. So while Sasha took a shower I thought about all the different possibilities that could happen. I think all I did was freak myself out.

"Okay Sasha let's say I do this whole apology thing (which is already hard enough as it is) and he still doesn't care what do I do then?" I asked. She just sighed/gave me the evil eye and said "You didn't wake me up this morning to tell me you are having doubts because YOU. ARE. NOT. HAVING. DOUBTS. OKAY!" she said boldly. "He will forgive even if I have to beat it into him because I will if I have to" she said sighed.