Playing Favorites

Not Playing These Games

"What's the matter hon?" I feel Sarah start to run her hand up and down my back.

"Nothing." I pull the blanket up to my neck.

"Is it those boys again?"

"And those girls. And those teachers. Fuck Sarah I can't do it anymore! I can't." I sob into the pillow. "The things they say about us, about you. It's terrible!"

"Sweetie who gives a fuck?" She laughs. "So what if they talk about us or look funny at us. I don't care because I have you and what's what matters." She pulls me by my hips so she can wrap her arms around me.

"I know but.. is it even worth it?"

I look up to see the pain of pure shock that liners on her face and her eyes start to water. She's not sad, she's hurt, she's angry. "What?"

"I don't know." I sit up when my tears start falling faster. "I know what I want and I want you. I want to.. please don't make me say something that's going to make you leave me." I beg.

"Riley," she softly grabs my face and pulls it towards her. Our noses are almost touching. "I know what I want. And there's nothing you can say to scare me off. I love you."

I think my body is shaking but I'm actually just frozen. Silence rings through my whole house until I start breathing heavier.

"What?"

"I. Love. You, Riley." She says slower.

My voice is weak but I manage to speak through my sobs. "I love you too." She pulls me on to her lap and let's me cry into her shoulder. She kisses the top of my head and forehead a few times then rocks me a little. "I love you so much and I was scared if I told you, you'd get freaked out and leave me."

"Shh." She runs her fingers through my brown locks. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise sweet girl." I nod. "I know I want to be with you. I want to spend every day with you. I want to make you happy and be the best girlfriend you've ever had."

I swear the oxygen level in the room just went down and I'm paralyzed with shock. "Girlfriend?" I lean up to look at her once I regain feeling in my body.

"Yes." She nods. "Rilynn Jade, will you be my girlfriend?"

I look down at my legs that are wrapped around her waist. She's wearing nothing but purple underwear and a gray T-shirt that says "Let's get one thing straight. I'm not." with a rainbow on it. I love that shirt.

"Yeah." Why am I crying even harder??

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" I wrap my arms around her neck and pull her in for a squeeze. She pulls back to kiss me and I can't help but feel pure happiness.

In the morning I try my hardest to walk into school with my head up. Sarah is to my right per usual but today she grabs my hand in the parking lot.

"Ready?" She squeezes my hand.

"Let's get this bread." I say then try to steady my breathing.

"...what?"

"It's just..a saying."

"What kind of a.."

"Dork let's just go." I feel a little better after that. I guess I just had to laugh a little.

Sarah holds onto me the entire way to her classroom. My heart races a little when I watch a few people's heads turn. Some people mumble to their friends and a few laugh. Ugh these hoes. Every day has been like this but I just don't think I'll get use to it.

"Good morning Miss Paulson. Hey Ry." Molly smiles at us on her way to the office. We both smile and keep walking. A small part of me is just so relieved that Molly has supported us since everyone found out that me and Sarah were.. well, sleeping together.

"Can you remind me to make copies of the final third hour?" She asks, hanging up her coat once we get to the classroom.

"No." I shake my head.

"Oh calm down you'll be fine. You did your homework, participated in class, and studied."

"Yeah but I just. Anxiety." I shrug.

Sarah just laughs. I love that she deals with me. God I love her so much and now that we're officially dating everything just feels even more special. I don't even know if that really makes sense but god she's amazing.

The day is just as expected. Mumbles from people in classes, people staring in the hall. I try to remember what Sarah said and just go in with my day. It's annoying but I manage. I don't know when or who it will be but I just know someone is going to say something soon and I'm just going to lose it.

Sarah ends up having to stay at the school till 8 o'clock which sucks. She has teacher stuff to do I guess. I get a lot of work done and even filled out a few scholarship applications thought. After I finish up everything I need to it's about 7:20. I head to Sarah's and order Chinese once I'm inside. She's probably tired so I want her to be able to just come home, relax, and eat.

I set the table and grab some wine out of her little rack. By the time the food arrives I'm starving. As I'm pulling the food out of the brown bag I hear the back door to the garage open.

"Well that was a huge waist of time." She says walking to the living room. She throws her bag and coat onto the chair and walks over to me. "Food!" She smiles and gives me a kiss.

"What was it?"

"This bullshit training: be a teacher that's prepared for anything and everything." She shrug.

"Oh well. Let's eat I'm freakin starving."

We sit and Sarah starts to serve herself while I pour the wine. "You get stuff done?"

"Yes actually. Also Christmas break is just a few weeks away. Are you going anywhere?"

"No." She shakes her head and laughs. "I figured we'd spend Christmas together."

"Really?" I feel like I smile a little too big.

"Yeah. We can stay here or if we want to go anywhere I was thinking we could go to Florida, stay with my parents?"

I choke on my chicken a little. "Your parents?"

"Yes." She laughs at how flustered I am. "They know about you, don't get worked up it." She shrugs.

"You told them about me?"

"Why are you so surprised Riley?"

"..you know!! I'm not playing these games!" I say as I take another bite of rice.

"No I don't. I need you to say it." She props herself up on her arm and stares at me.

"That's just super serious. Super quick."

"We don't have to."

"No I want to. I just don't want you to bring me home and them think 'well I guess-'"

"Ry everything is fine. Don't stress, we don't have to go but they'd like us to." She grabs my hand. "They're exited to meet you."

"And they know I'm your student?" I give her a look.

"Well they know how old you are and that we met at school so I assume." She shrugs.

"Okay."

"You don't have to decide right now. Just think think about it?" She smiles. "Please?"

"I will." I roll my eyes and smile.

"Yaay!!" Why is she so cute?? "Also babe, I'm not playin these games either."

After dinner we clean up and then watch tv in the couch. I can't help but just think holy shit. I think this is it. We're practically living together, I'm possibly meeting her parents, possibly spending CHRISTMAS with them. That's just feels huge to me and she said she's not playing these games so what? Does she think that this is it and we're meant to be together? I hope so.