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Older Blond

After school today Sarah had to say longer to do work so she told me to take her car and pick her up later. I parked in the alley by the gate, we are staying the night at my place tonight. I got a lot done surprisingly: Studied for finals, did my laundry so I could start packing, applied for a few more scholarships. Go me, I mentally high five myself.

It's getting late and Sarah hasn't texted me yet. I just finish cooking us dinner when I see headlights from the alley. I watch as they stop in front of my gate. The fuck? Sarah steps out of the car and I'm so confused. I was going to pick her up..?

A woman. A woman, who I don't know, dropped her off. She doesn't work at the school. She's older, blond.

"Hi baby." Sarah says as she walks through the door meeting me at the kitchen island for a kiss. "Oh no, you made dinner?"

"Yeah broccoli soups because it's your favorite." I grab her hand in mine.

"I should've called, I already ate." She bites her lip.

"Oh that's fine.. Who dropped you off?" I ask starting to feel a little nervous.

"An old friend." She shrugs and starts to clean up the kitchen.

"Oh.. okay." I put the soup into a big container and stick it into the fridge.

Why don't I believe her? Why do I have this sickening blob in my gut that says the love of my life is going to cheat on me if she hadn't already??

"You're not going to eat?"

"I've lost my appetite." I shrug walking to the couch.

"Is something wrong Riley?" Sarah asks.

"I don't know maybe." I say stubbornly.

"Don't act like a child." Sarah rolls her eyes.

"Don't date them." I punch back.

"Oh that's gold." She says, getting irritated. "Yes you are acting like a child now tell me what your problem is."

"Who dropped you off?" I ask again after a long silence. I pull out my phone to avoid eye contact.

"An old friend." She shrugs.

"Name?"

"Holland Taylor. Happy?"

"Fuck Sarah! You fucking lied!" I stand up crossing my arms over my chest.

"What?"

"Old friend. She's your ex girlfriend. Those are two very different things."

I toss her my phone to show her I've pulled up an old picture of them on Facebook from four years ago. She's kissing the older woman's cheek and smiling.

"Yeah we dated before.. nothing happened. We got dinner." She defends herself.

"I just don't know why you didn't tell me because it looks like you're hiding something."

"I can't get dinner!?" She shouts.

"Not with your ex girlfriend, no!"

"You're making nothing into a big deal."

I walk to the bedroom and grab a pillow from her side of the bed. I walk back to the living room and shove the pillow into her arms.

"You're fucking kidding me right?" She scoffs.

"Goodnight."

"I'm not sleeping on your couch." She shouts as I start up the stairs.

"Well you're not going to sleep in my bed either."

The next morning Sarah and I don't speak to each other. She slept at her house and picked me up before school. During the drive there's a thick tension and Sarah finally breaks it.

"When are you going to be done throwing your tantrum?"

"When are you going to tell me why you went to dinner with Holland?"

Sarah slams on the breaks after quick pulling to the side of the road.

"Get in the back." She demands.

"Fuck no. I'm not doing that bullshit. You don't get to fuck me and then everything is all better. That's not how this works. I know you're going for the whole let me show you how much I love you shit but that doesn't work in this situation."

She looks hurt for a second then it turns to anger. When drives to school she speeds and it's almost scary. I swear she's going to get us in a fucking wreck.

When we get to school I head to the cafeteria and do some work at a lunch table. Usually I do it in Sarah's class at my desk but I'm not going in there till I have to.

I get to the classroom and the bell immediately rings after I walk in. I take my seat next to Molly and she looks at me a little confused.

"What's wrong?" She scribbles on her notebook. Sarah is beginning class and starts writing something on the board.

"We're in a fight and I'm still pissed as fuck." I write then slide the notebook back to her.

I was up half the night just angry so I didn't get much sleep. I yawn and cover my mouth to try and silence it.

"I'm sorry am I boring you?" Sarah says, stopping instructions mid sentence.

"Yeah you kind of are." I fire back.

"You wanna talk that to the principal?"

"You wanna keep your legs closed?"

I can't believe those words just fell out of my mouth.. especially in front of the whole class. I want to take it back. I want to take it back.

A rush of panic has fallen over me and I hear the class "oooh" and laugh.

"Get the hell out." Sarah barks.

"I-"

"Get out Riley before you regret it."

~~~~~~~
I'm gonna have a little breakdown.
I forgot to take my medicine this morning, I called up my friend and yelled at him, and I swear idk if I can make it to to tomorrow. I feel so worthless and I want to cut so fucking bad. The worst past is I drop so many hints wanting my friends or anyone to ask if I'm okay and they don't.
Thank you for letting me spill. Goodnight.