Falling for you

|| Guilty Pleasure Part 2 ||

KJ's POV

My hair was ruffled up as Sadie and I continued to kiss, but I just couldn't anymore. Whatever ecstatic feeling I had before that made me want this, had worn off and made me physically stop. Sadie pulled back, "Kj? Am I doing something wrong?"

I sighed, as I looked into her eyes. Although it was dark, I could still see the worry in them.

We had gone way passed the line, and I felt ridiculous being here. I don't know what had been going through my mind to ever think that doing this with some girl I've know for a few hours, would be okay. "No, I uh-just...I don't know." It was pointless, I had definitely given her the wrong impression. She sat down next to me in the bed, only wearing her bra and underwear. "Kj, I know we met today and this might just seem like a hookup, but that isn't what it means to me at all. I feel comfortable with you, I don't feel shy to be in my undies right in front of you." She laughed. "Look Sadie, I'm sorry I-"

"I don't know what it is about you...I'm sorry if you felt rushed because I was the one that initiated everything..." She blushed. "But I feel like I'm making you do this. This is sex! Something probably serious to you." She frowned, obviously feeling bad. "Wow...we were really about to fuck weren't we?" I sighed deeply. She sat up and began putting her clothes back on. "Every time I meet a great guy I always seem to fuck it up. Always," She spoke with attitude, an angry one. "I'm crazy to have thought we'd become something more, but where does a fucking hookup take you? Nowhere. In fact we didn't even make it there."

"Sadie why would I have sex with you if that's all it's gonna be? I don't want to be that jackass that does that and leaves you." I explained. She looked at me and shook her head. "But Kj that's ok! I don't care, I just want this...us."

Was she drunk? High on some drug? Or was she as desperate and heartbroken as me. "Sadie I'm not going to use you like that. We met how long ago? I shouldn't have stayed, I-I have to go."

"Go to what? A girlfriend? Were you cheating or something?" She asked. "I...its none of your business." I answered, but that's not the answer she was looking for. "You don't, don't you? So what's the point? What's stopping you?"

"I'm still in love with her." I spoke quickly, which left her quiet. "Oh...well who's the lucky girl?"

"We're not together, at least not anymore. Why do you care?" I put my shirt back on hoping she wouldn't go there, but this girl is all too curious.

"Because I just do. Hey, if it makes you feel better you're not the only one who's been heartbroken. My ex literally left me as if he didn't care, which he didn't."

I looked at her, as her head rose and she was looking at me. "Is that why you wanted this? Because you still love him too?" I hadn't realized that maybe she was hurt too. "I ask myself that everyday. But when I saw you today at the party, you caught my eye, as cheesy as that sounds." She giggled hesitantly. "Look, I've recently gotten out of a really serious relationship with a girl that I still love. I can't do this. I love her, and even though we're not together, I'm not gonna move on right now. If I wasn't so madly in love I would give this a chance...I'm sorry." I rambled. This was true, I saved Sadie from another heartbreak because if she's really being sincere about her sudden feelings for me, I wouldn't want her to waste everything on me who doesn't feel the same.

A lot happened tonight. I did things I shouldn't have, but my mind found ways to heal my broken heart, even though they weren't the best.

"I completely understand, love can be a bitch," She spoke softly. "I'm gonna wash up then head to bed, if you want to stay the night there's blankets and pillows in the hallway closet." She walked out and silence filled the room. I wasn't sure if I had been too hard on her, but at least she understood.

I went as she said and got the blankets and pillows and placed them neatly on the floor. I fell asleep quickly, as it only took me to close my eyes to do so.

-

"I love you." She smiled happily, "I love you too baby."

I held cami close, as I neared her face to peck her lips. "You're so handsome, how'd I get so lucky?" She giggled. I kissed her once again giving her my all. I passionately kissed her as she held onto my face and as her hands traveled to my hair, tugging at it just a little. She lied me down as she smirked from above. Her hands took hold of my shirt as she pulled it off. She undressed herself in front of me, my eyes lighting up at the sight. She connected her lips to mine again, her tongue wanting so desperately to join mine. She pulled away for just a second, just a second so that I could hear what she wanted to say. "I'll never stop loving you kage, not ever. No matter what babe. No matter what happens I'll always care for you and I'll always be here for you." Her little hands stroked my face as she looked at every bit of my face. "And I'll never stop loving you, mila. Whenever you need me I'm here, I always will be. Nothing can stop me from loving you....

...not ever, because I'm so deeply in love with you."

-

My eyes popped open suddenly, sadly making me realize it was just a dream. It wasn't a fake dream though, it was real. One of my favorite moments with cami.

I sighed grabbing the pillow and placing it on my head. It all seemed so real, as if I was reliving that moment. But It wasn't, and I'd just have to accept it.

I grabbed my phone which only lied a few feet to my side. It was nine in the morning, so I just got up knowing I had to leave anyways.

I walked to the kitchen table where a note was put.

"Left early for work. Didn't want to wake you, so I left you some breakfast in the microwave that you can heat up.

My number is one the back, just if you ever need anything.

Sadie."

I placed the note down and opened the microwave where pancakes and a hash brown were placed on a plate. I smiled, she didn't have to do this, especially after last night, but she did.

I ate breakfast in silence. Once I had finished I cleaned up and put the blankets and pillows away, ready to leave. I looked around once more, then left.

Sadie had made me realize so much in the little time we spent together. If I kept thinking about cami, kept bringing her up, what would that do? I could talk to her but what's the point? We're over for a reason. A little, pointless reason that broke us up so easily. I couldn't keep living my life as if I couldn't love anymore. I'd have to move on, as much as I didn't want to.

I turned up the music and listened peacefully.

Sooner or later, I'll find someone else that'll make me feel love again. I knew I could never stop loving cami, but maybe some time later the feelings will slowly go away. I'd just have to try and find someone. Whoever that may be, I'll give them my love, because I have lots to give.